Ormus
by miwata
Summary: (xenosaga, Jr. x MOMO) Chapter 7: bluebirds, fights, a winter inn and nothing to do with the storyline. :P
1. Oceans

[AN: This is moving along very slowly. Any feedback is appreciated, as are any ideas you might have as to what you'd like to see in the plotline. Heh, I know, another Jr./MOMO fiction, but I couldn't resist. :3]  
  
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Tiny hands over glossy, freshly polished linoleum, making only the slightest of noises as she pushes toward the crayon on the opposite end. The prize is cerulean, slightly dulled from multiple uses, and the one color she needs in order to complete another drawing of an endless expanse of happiness. She's making a face, poor girl, kicking her feet against thin air as she loses her balance and falls back into the red plastic stool with a thud. Her knees knock against the underside of the counter, pushing her goal only a few inches more in the direction of the unretrievable. With a cry she's extending her arm again, pushes herself further and further, collapses onto the counter and clutches it in her tiny fist, so triumphant, eyes all lit up like a child on their birthday. Why, her face is just as red, as if she were prepared to blow out the candles on the cake.  
  
But she is a child, Ziggy corrected as he watched his porcelain charge color vigorously over yellowed sketching paper. Just not in the sense everyone else thinks, of course. More like a baby doll on an occasion that came as close to a birthday as she'd ever come to.  
  
"All done," she sang, looking it over. Not that there was anything wrong; the sky was blue, the grass a brilliant dark emerald, the flowers pastel pinks and yellows. She gripped the corners with little more than a thought as to how she'd smooth out the creases later on, oh so eager to show Ziggy how pretty it was. She wanted to go there, she says, to dance underneath the sun and swim in a vibrant ocean of mignonette and daisies. But she wanted the sun to be real. And she wanted her daddy to dance with her, to be happy and be close to her. She spilled her dreams onto paper with tiny pieces of colored wax, a present from Gaignun Kukai himself.  
  
He didn't like that she was surrounded by everything that didn't deserve her. They were merely substitutions made when the real thing couldn't be bothered; A quick change of plans when there was a schedule to keep. He wasn't Joachim Mizrahi, and Joachim Mizrahi wasn't Jan Sauer**... Ziggurat 8. He didn't need to bother figuring out which one meant more to daddy's little girl. Ziggurat was happy to play the role of guardian, so long as he didn't become attached on any lengths when emotions were concerned.  
  
The poor girl. She masked her fear by throwing herself headlong into her drawings. It upset him.  
  
Surely a baby doll didn't have a single worry on her mind, other than how to make herself and others happy, maybe what to wear. The pretty dolls offered by Kukai's 18th district certainly didn't cry themselves to sleep at night, or lose themselves in nightmarish fantasy over past event. No, quite the contrary, them with the little velvet bows and lace dresses, stood prettily in the window waiting for someone to make a purchase and display them elsewhere. Completely oblivious, of course, not that they would give a care if they could. There was a moment where guilt seeped in; because he had referred to her, compared her to a toy? Something to display? He watched carefully as her boots met the ground and she ran, paper waving behind as a banner, quickly gone from the kitchen and out into the Elsa. He wanted to reach out and call her back, so he could lose himself in her gentle demeanor, but felt he shouldn't.  
  
So easily lost.  
  
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]---------------------------------------------[  
  
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Picture discarded messily in cabin B, she hurried until the white-crested waves consumed her. There, water swirling in eddies to her ankles, MOMO allowed herself to soak in synthetic sunlight and brilliant blue sky in a leisurely manner rarely practiced. Why not take up such an incredible offer, a chance to spend a day in perfection by her lonesome? Allow herself such a luxury? Hopefully it wasn't a bad thing. God, don't let it be a bad thing. This is the closest to heaven I can come.  
  
She studied the means of which the waves folded over themselves to the point of disappearance. So simply fascinating. Wind tugged gently through locks of carmine, at the edges of a black sailor's uniform, nipped at her bare forearms. But it felt good. Sun shone generously over her ghostly skin, and she, loving the warmth, spun haphazardly through the surf in ecstacy. Eventually everything must go down; she tripped into the water and didn't bother to stand, enjoying the coming and going of the current as it pulled the water inwards, towards land. She couldn't think of a reason to leave this place, ever.  
  
"MOMO! MOMO!" He was worried. Afraid she'd hurt herself, he threw off his boots and stepped into the expanse. Two people in paradise, though she'd been enjoying it much more than he was just now. Such wonderful timing; she'd been longing to share it with someone.  
  
"I'm fine. Don't worry, Jr." All it took was one of her smiles, the snug, comfy kind you'd just like to curl up in and never let go of, to take away any worries or preconceptions he had. He returned it with uncertainty, embarassment and relief, though the smile in his eyes was much more vibrant. Something drove him to sit down next to her, both completely clothed and not giving a damn, though Shion certainly would upon discovering their regular garments soaked through without reasonable explanation.  
  
She loved the ocean, she told him. It was one of her many dreams to visit the real oceans someday, the ones that never ended and lasted forever, because she knew they existed. Where the bottom was so far down that the surface was navy blue. She wanted to sit in the sand and watch the sunrise and sunset and midnight moon as it hovered peacefully through the sky, the clouds overhead, sitting through the rain and heat and cold. She would draw in the sand and write messages for the stars to see. She'd be twelve years old and trapped in wonderland through hell and high waters. And she'd bring Jr., and Ziggy, and Shion, chaos, KOS-MOS, Mary, Gaignun, Shelley, Mommy, her sisters and Albedo.  
  
There was a helplessness shining in his eyes that she couldn't comprehend. "Albedo?" tight-lipped and angry, he made a move to stand. She shifted nervously in preparation for his reaction to her next plea, a sinner in the church confessional.  
  
"He told me about the ocean." They both stopped, watching the waves lap in and out on the sand, splashing slightly on impact and retreating. "I have a part of him. And a part of him saw the ocean, and he wanted me to see it, too. I love it." Her hands clasped together enigmatically, gestures meant to display her happiness, hardly of any solace as Jr. perplexed over what he'd just heard.  
  
She wanted to know about his dreams, though he shook his head and told her there wasn't anything to dream about. Of course there is, you just have to think about it: What makes you the happiest? And with that he met her eyes and stated plainly, as if he were serious on the matter, that what brought him the most pleasure was shooting things. But it wasn't like that. It didn't involve hurting other people, MOMO scolded. What makes YOU the happiest? Just you? He pledged to put a little thought into it when he had the time. But why not now?  
  
"Look, do you really want to know?" Yes, of course she wanted to know, as that was the point of asking the question in the first place. Did the ocean make him happy, too? Or did he enjoy the feeling of flying through space? And what about the books he kept, were those the key to his happiness? Maybe it was this foundation itself, she told him while closely examining the "sky" above them. She lowered her head only to meet his eyes as they looked jokingly over her body.  
  
"What if I said that you were what made me happy? Sounds... Stupid, right?" And he became rather embarassed, yet holding her gaze with steadfast determination. She made him happy? Yeah. It seemed quite strange to MOMO, a new concept, with Jr. trying his best to explain. She made him feel... Different, energized, on top of the world; yet at the same time, scared, angry, and confused. MOMO was special to him, though he couldn't quite place why. There was just something... there. Explanation returned with blank stare, he went for the most simple words he could find.  
  
His breath came heavily and there was a momentary pause for contemplation.  
  
"I wanna be here through everything with you, just protect you and see you happy... Because when you're happy, things are just that much more simple. That's my paradise." And she turned to him with twinkling eyes, brilliant and joyful, red in the face, and beamed until he couldn't take it anymore, cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her for the first time. She started at first, unsure of how to react, stifling the giddy feeling creeping through her body, and then submitting to it.  
  
For the time being, MOMO completely forgot about the ocean.  
  
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[send feedback to cathe@kururu.org] 


	2. Marienkind

[AN: I couldn't resist the Allen/bartender scene, sorry. XD Please read and review... And thank you Reflections, Lizabeth and Kyosnekozukigirl for your reviews. Here's chapter 2!]  
  
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She wrapped herself involuntarily around Ziggy's metal arm at the sound of footsteps echoing through the empty hallway ahead, knowing that, quite simply, no one should have been up and wandering at this time of night. No, especially so, knowing the Elsa crew's schedule. The Elsa's bowels were scarcely lit and forbidding, accentuated by the lifelessness of its metal build and vast cielings. Wandering them at an hour most certainly past midnight wasn't something that appealed to MOMO, rather something which she would most often see in her nightmares.  
  
Run back, go back to your cabin, you'll be safe there, her common sense cried. But an equally influential voice told her to keep a steady pace ahead, if only to keep Ziggy company.  
  
MOMO released her firm grip of Ziggy and fell silently to one side, stepping carefully onto each metal plate beneath her feet as she would if someone were sleeping nearby. The Elsa at night was a horrible, scary place, and she'd rather not be there. But Ziggy, Ziggy had to stay here all by himself, and the noises wouldn't go away. She bravely offered herself as a companion, to go with him to find the source of the disturbance.  
  
Shion had submitted to restless slumber on Cabin B's couch (after an especially difficult night, she'd explained point-blank, and MOMO assumed that it had something to do with Allen); chaos, Tony and Hammer were heavily absorbed in a detailed discussion of the next morning's flight plans, as Captain Matthews snored quite loudly in his elevated chair, despite the combined efforts of chaos and MOMO to relocate him to his bunk. It would be most unpleasant if there were a repeat of the last week's incident, where a sleeping Matthews fell out of his perch and landed flat on his head, leaving him cussing fervently for the next few days afterwards. Jr. had retreated to Gaignun's chambers directly after their meeting on the beach, as had Mary and Shelley Godwin. As for the others-  
  
A particularly odd noise caused a momentary pause in their progression towards Hangar 1. Ziggy drew a blade from his left arm and held it at an ominous angle at his side, ushering MOMO a few steps back as a gesture of caution. She associated the small sequence of metallic strains that followed with those made by a relatively large gun; now, who else but Jr. had a gun...? Shaking her head, she concluded that that scenario was impossible, and continued to follow Ziggy down the hallway.  
  
"Maybe it's nothing," Ziggy spoke into the semi-darkness in a monotonic tone, reaching his right arm out and running it along the wall until it met with a small button. A slight "whirr" filled the air as the door to his chambers opened and closed behind them, and though now standing in a well-lit room she couldn't calm herself; the sounds became stronger, more foreboding. Studying Ziggy's face, the sudden uncertainty she saw unnerved her a great deal more than she'd been previously. In a panic, she once again fell back several steps and narrowly missed Ziggy's maintenance bed at the room's central area.  
  
I'm depending on your strength here, don't you go getting scared! It's just a little noise, nothing big, right...?  
  
Of course it wasn't anything big. If anything, it was probably Allen tinkering with the AGWS units to blow off steam... He'd done it before. In a sudden fit of daring she strode to the door and opened it just slightly, peering through the slit most cautiously. Shion's trademark VX-10000 shone in the sudden light; seeing nothing, MOMO opened the door another inch, straining herself for another sign of a presence. A moment passed, and she threw the door open so that the light fell fully into the hangar, illuminating a tall, silvery figure at its center in the process.  
  
MOMO gave a heavy sigh of relief and threw herself into the hangar, landing on all fours on the rough, cold surface of the hangar's floor and crawling a few paces forwards. "KOS-MOS, you scared us!" Though a smile, even the slightest sign of recognition from the android would have been more comforting, her usual blank, expectant stare did justice. It didn't hit MOMO (until much later, that is) of the oddity of this situation; KOS-MOS, her blue hair swaying loosely from the force of movement, handgun cocked and gloved finger on its trigger, pacing repeatedly up and down the empty corridor as if expecting something to happen. Even more, the ominous way she looked up at MOMO when she finally detected their presence.  
  
Their eyes locked, MOMO giving a slight shiver at the malicious look she recieved. Any sense of comfort died then and there, and a need to leave the hangar set in.  
  
"Um... Well...Goodnight then, KOS-MOS... Sorry to disturb you..." She muttered, pulling herself to a standing position and fumbling for the door handle behind her. "You should get to sleep, it's late, and I'm sure you have lots to dream about." Succeeding, she spent no time dawdling and stepped back through the door, red eyes watching until it closed and the muffled sound of a pair of urgent voices faded as they headed back to the main area.  
  
KOS-MOS gave an odd little smile into the darkness and continued to pace.  
  
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Shion left before MOMO had the oppurtunity to find her the next morning, with the promise to return by the day's end. The urgency to discuss KOS-MOS' recent behavior with her creator caused MOMO to become abnormally agitated, despite her best efforts to ignore it and continue the day as usual. Deciding that human interaction might be the best way to distract herself, she rose from bed and wandered towards the Elsa kitchen, hoping to meet the regulars.  
  
The doors opened to reveal a distraught Allen (Who, once again, was attempting to kill himself through excessive consumption of Shion's best curry), seated beside an unusually fatigued chaos, silver hair askew and eyelids drooping. No doubt, the meeting had lasted later than it normally would have, and obviously Allen's behavior hadn't helped much. Regardless, he smiled generously as she stepped through the doorway, then glanced to his left, where another group had seated themselves. Hammer and a flustered captain Matthews sat across from Gaignun Kukai and Jr., the "elder" smiling slyly at Matthews' latest statement. At the other end of the room sat Mary and Shelley, trying to conceal their boredom as Gaignun dealt with official business.  
  
"Strange activity?" His lips curled up in a mock smile, his fingers drumming on the edge of the counter out of boredom; Gaignun struck her as the sort who'd become used to Matthews' 'tall tales'. "I would appreciate a more thorough explanation, if you expect me to believe-" He cut off and raised his eyes to MOMO, who'd stopped near Allen and, once caught in the director's gaze, now made a great deal of trying to take the plate of curry away from him. Finding it most comical, he continued to watch, attracting Jr.'s attention as well.  
  
"MOMO- Giffer back!" Allen swallowed a mouthful of curry and reached, but couldn't seem to grab hold of the plate. In an almost Shion-like manner, MOMO narrowed her eyes and set the plate down at her side, then frowning slightly, in a most sympathetic manner.  
  
"What happened? Did you get in another fight with miss Shion?" Allen raised his jaw defiantly and muttered something which sounded close enough to 'no'. He then reached for his plate, which she pushed further away. With a scowl, he admitted to another fight, and burst into detailed explanation, knocking MOMO off balance with the force of his voice.  
  
Gaignun chuckled softly and continued to watch as Allen knocked the plate of curry to the floor with a particularly grand gesture, causing the mechanical bartender a great fury. It rolled slowly out from behind the counter, towel in hand, and slapped Allen's shoulder with it before mopping up the mess and returning to its post. Needless to say, he was thereby refused another helping, under the accusition that he'd already eaten enough. MOMO hovered nervously at Allen's side as he buried his face in his hands and glared loathingly at the bartender through splayed fingers.  
  
"I might come here more often," he noted to Jr., sitting anxiously to his left and gazing fixedly at MOMO. "Your crew is quite comical, to say the least. Oh, and Matthews, I'm expecting a detailed report on these... so-called "strange activities" within the next week... If they are indeed happening," and with this his grin became almost cat-like, "We'll need to sort it out right away." Matthews nodded profusely and sank into his seat, dreading the thought of more paperwork to come, as Gaignun stood and made his way towards the door. Mary and Shelley bolted from their seats to follow, leaving Jr. behind. Gaignun winked briefly at MOMO as he passed.  
  
Allen and the bartender had now declared a full-fledged battle; the robot holding a sauce-pan lid in a shield-like manner as Allen bombarded it with dirty spoons. MOMO winced as several explicits were launched over the counter, and shot a withering look at Matthews, whose interest had suddenly increased (He immediately sunk into his seat, muttering indignantly about a certain 'miss Vector'). A metalic 'clang' echoed through the room as a spoon came into contact with the robot's forehead, knocking it to the ground. Allen gave a battle cry and strutted from the kitchen in triumph, leaving behind three bewildered teammates.  
  
"I think he's lost it," grumbled Matthews, turning his attention back to his own plate, which had now grown cold. chaos focused his gaze on the door through which Allen had just left, his expression one of complete and utter shock. MOMO smiled comically and watched as Matthews rose from his seat, cursed his ruined breakfast and followed in Allen's wake. Her gaze drifted up and stopped, meeting a pair of unfathomable blue eyes.  
  
*  
  
She wanted to sit in the sand and watch the sunrise and sunset and midnight moon as it hovered peacefully through the sky, the clouds overhead, sitting through the rain and heat and cold. She would draw in the sand and write messages for the stars to see. She'd be twelve years old and trapped in wonderland through hell and high waters.......  
  
*  
  
Memories of yesterday were fresh in her mind. Picking up a menu to hide the rising tint in her cheeks, she inched forward and stopped at the side of the table. "Aren't you going to eat?" She asked, playing her cheerful voice. Jr. shook his head.  
  
"Not hungry. I was going to go with Gaignun, but it's a lot more interesting to just stay here." He gestured towards the doorway, where Allen had re-entered in hopes of making ammends with the bartender; Sadly, the robot had prepared, and rushed him with a pair of tongs and a carving knife. "And I wanted to see you, of course."  
  
MOMO had dropped the menu to her sides, and now regretted it dearly. The tinge in her cheeks became even more apparent, though she wasn't exactly sure it was a bad thing; no, it certainly couldn't be a bad thing, though it caused her some discomfort. In the background, Allen gave a blood-curdling scream and launched himself over one of the stools in an attempt to avoid his pursuer. While rather amusing to her, she noticed that Jr. was growing agitated, which wasn't a good sign. "Let's go for a walk," she suggested, grabbing his hand and dragging him from the kitchen as Allen and the bartender fought for posession of the saucepan lid.  
  
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She wanted to see something different, she said. After a moment of thought, she wrinkled her nose and asked if he would mind taking her to see the Zohar. Though it didn't make sense why she'd want to see something of such a sort, he obliged and they began their slow progress toward the Durandal's restricted areas, taking the train to cross through sections.  
  
"I like the train," she chimed, standing on her knees on the velvety texture of the seat and looking out the window as various parts of the Durandal flashed before her eyes. How her eyes danced with glee, he thought, secretly wishing that the experience of riding the train were as new and genuine to him as it was for her. On a similar note, she added that "I could spend all day here, going around and around the Durandal and watching the people go by... Oh!" She pointed at a young woman holding a small child in her arms, wandering aimlessly around the platform. "So cute!"  
  
She strained to continue watching the mother and child, but lost them as the train turned a sharp corner. A slight frown played across her face, but soon faded as she spotted a young couple, holding hands and laughing richly, intimately. She didn't seem to have anything to say about the pair, but later commented on a middle-aged man, dressed in a dark trench-coat, selling illegal silvers. Jr. couldn't help but take a look and laugh as the man attempted to pawn off an old watch on a teenage boy, however unsuccessfully.  
  
"It would be fun to live here," she giggled, more to herself than to him. "So many fun people, so much to do... Ah!" A group of tourists had come equipped with cameras and had snapped pictures of the trains, effectively catching MOMO in the window. After blinking several times, she gave a giggle and turned to Jr. "Isn't it great, being here?"  
  
Not wanting to ruin her fun, he faked a smile and told her that yes, it was very fun living here. Of course, it was fun for a civilian. But for himself, Gaignun Kukai Jr., it was closer to abysmally dull. Gaignun often insisted that he help with legal papers, or run errands of importance while he worked. Otherwise, he was to oversee operations onboard the Durandal, or distract Mary and Shelley (which had become increasingly difficult over the last few weeks, as their attention spans had seemingly shrunk). Today was an exception; riding the trains with MOMO had proven to be quite interesting. He knelt on the seat beside her and allowed her to point out people and things of interest as they sped by.  
  
There were a few moments where she said nothing, then suddenly gave a little gasp and pointed sharply at a woman with long, red hair. "Shion! Hi, Shion!" But Shion continued walking, unable to hear them from the other end of the platform. In her arms were several bags of necessities (No doubt Matthews had requested she go shopping, being a rather important womanly figure for the Elsa and all), and to her right was KOS-MOS, also laden down with Shion's purchases. Jr. felt MOMO tense at his side, and turned to look at her, somewhat alarmed.  
  
"It's nothing." She gave his a reassuring smile, glancing back out the window and laughing. "Imagine, KOS-MOS shopping!" Still unconvinced, Jr. poked her shoulder and asked again; and once again, the answer was the same: "It's nothing."  
  
She sank into her chair and he followed suit, looking her over as he did so, yet deciding it best to drop the topic. However, there was one thing he had to ask her about, which had bothered him all morning. "You look tired," he commented, noticing the dark circles under her eyes. "Didn't sleep last night?"  
  
"Yeah, I was just up late, that's all," Her slight shoulders shrugged carelessly. "Tony, Hammer and chaos had a meeting, so I stayed up to help. And then caos and I tried and get Matthews to bed, because he fell asleep in his chair again." MOMO giggled and folded her hands on her lap. "Remember last time? I thought he'd have hurt someone, and oh, I've never heard such foul language before!" By now she'd collapsed against her seat in laughter, recalling the entire catastrophe. Jr. decided that he enjoyed seeing her laugh, and in an attempt to prolong it, laughed too. She laughed until there were tears in her eyes, and hiccoughed for several minutes afterwards.  
  
Jr. glanced anxiously at the clock and sighed. "Another half hour," he grumbled impatiently, studying it as if willing the time to pass more quickly. While he was preoccupied, MOMO decided to take a chance, settling her cheek on his shoulder and yawning.  
  
"I guess I'm gonna take a nap, then," she told him. "I hope you don't mind... But I want to be rested and ready to go when we get to the Zohar hangar." He turned his head away to hide the red creeping into his cheeks, and stared anxiously at the clock for roughly five minutes afterwards. He finally chanced a look at MOMO, now sleeping soundly on his shoulder, and smiled awkwardly. Just like an angel.  
  
She slept for twenty minutes, mumbling softly as she dozed. At some point he drifted off as well, falling into a light slumber, only to be awakened (from a rather pleasant dream, mind you) by the harsh sounds of the train coming to a stop. MOMO awoke as well, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes before standing. Then, as if completely renewed, she grinned, grabbed his hand excitedly and waited until he'd stood, making their way out of the doors and breaking into a brisk run down the long, wide catwalk leading into the isolation area.  
  
The Zohar emulators, held in massive containers, stood before them in all of their glory. MOMO read the names of each silently, remembering a story Shion had told her about "Marienkind" and the gates of heaven. The story of the "twelve apostles" also came to mind; rather lost in her own thoughts, she accidentally muttered out loud, "It's so sad." Jr. turned and studied her inquisitively. "Marienkind," she explained, looking up at the central Zohar. "But I guess it makes sense."  
  
They stared for several minutes, completely enthralled by the towering majesty of the Zohar. Jr. was vaguely aware that she hadn't let go of his hand (not that he minded), and gave hers a little squeeze. Enveloped in the silence of the massive room, neither spoke, just stared and stared at the Zohar, untiring.  
  
"Daddy," She whispered at his side, so quietly that he almost felt as if he shouldn't have overheard. Met with a perplexed look, she smiled and continued with an explanation. "Daddy studied the Zohar, didn't he? Quite a few people know that now. Daddy wanted to hide Miltia so badly-" Feeling that she'd overstepped her boundaries, MOMO closed her mouth firmly and said no more.  
  
She let her hand drop from his to her side, staring helplessly at the towering figures before her as if expecting them to come to life and answer her question personally.  
  
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[send feedback to cathe@kururu.org] 


	3. What still lingers

[AN: Sorry for the long wait, but every time I tried for a new chapter it came out far too OOC for my liking. So here it is, chapter 3! ^^ Thanks to Kyosnekozukigirl, Lizabeth, AerisGhost, Sakura and Crimson snow for reviews! :)]  
  
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She had sat alone in her room for several hours, staring into the gleaming reflection of her mother's portrait from where it sat on the bedside table. She studied the straight, brown hair and equally brown eyes, the way she looked almost cat-like as she smiled into the lens, how she seemed so... happy. She'd never looked so happy. Never in MOMO's memory had Juli Mizrahi ever looked the least bit pleased with anyone but fellow SOCE members; and even then, it was a wry, forced sort of elation, the kind that seemed to be almost sarcastic.  
  
She'd lock gazes with the portrait's eyes and sit, staring, as if challenging her to make a move. But there she was, MOMO's own mother, dressed up and resting on a grafitti-covered park bench, looking genuinely happy; and there's nothing MOMO can do to change it, or at least meet the strange woman in the photo herself, though such a longing coursed through her body with painful intensity.  
  
People came and went from the room. Shion occasionally swept in, tidying this and that, watching for any signs of a disturbance... Though this did not go unnoticed, while MOMO gave her the occasional sidelong glance to make sure she didn't try to throw in a question or two. As Shion saw it, MOMO neither did nor said a thing, giving Shion no reason to hover. However, she returned to the door several times before being ushered away by chaos, under the promise that she could return later that evening.  
  
The portrait sat on, smiling tirelessly out into the room; in the background stood a tall, greying gentleman, also dressed for some special occasion. He grinned handsomely, generously into the center of the lens, his eyes twinkling merrily, back hunched over slightly to come down to the level of his wife and the picture. One arm rested on the slight shoulders of a girl who appeared to be their daughter, her pink hair drawn up in a bow at the back of her head. She was clothed in an elaborate dress, falling well to the floor while several inches dragged behind her. When she smiled her blue eyes twinkled, with the innocent joy of a child.  
  
Blue....  
  
But MOMO's eyes were gold. She couldn't quite grasp what it meant, even though she knew very well that the girl in the picture was Sakura, not MOMO. Why hadn't daddy given her blue eyes, too?  
  
The door behind her opened with a loud creak of disapproval; MOMO didn't bother to turn. Expecting another visit from Shion, she fixed her eyes on Sakura's, closing them as her own reflected from the glassy surface. The visitor had stopped at the end of the bed, their steady gaze quickly becoming uncomfortable. She knew who it was before they had a chance to speak; only one member of the party ever gave her such a feeling of forboding.  
  
"Realians are produced with golden eyes in order to be distinguishable from humans, besides the color being a type of insignia," came a rich, feminine voice, both stoic and gentle simultaneously. "Therefore, it is not possible for you to be a direct duplicate." As MOMO turned KOS-MOS pulled her lips into the closest thing to a grin MOMO had ever seen; however, pulled off ineffectively, it looked closer to a grimace. She briefly considered KOS-MOS' idea before returning to the picture, somewhat perturbed by the new presence in the room.  
  
Maybe daddy wanted a way to distinguish them....  
  
"Then it's true?"  
  
KOS-MOS let her eyes wander around the perimeter of the room before returning her attention to MOMO, remaining silent. 'it' was true? Had she derived some meaning from what KOS-MOS had just said? All she had suggested was that there had been only one difference between the two. A wave of something undistinguishable coursed through her as the little girl turned away and muttered, almost inaudibly: "That daddy only made me to replace his real daughter."  
  
There was nothing to say in response, nothing to make her feel better (not that KOS-MOS specialized in that department, for that matter). Instead, KOS-MOS took in the soft squeak of MOMO's boots as she rose from the bed and paced its length, glancing briefly at her visitor's blue hair as she did so. A sudden need to tell the android struck MOMO, shook her body as if she were cold. She wanted to feel an affinity to KOS-MOS, hoping that the android would understand. If KOS-MOS understood, then maybe MOMO would have an easier time grasping what she was trying so hard to put into words.  
  
"KOS-MOS?" A brief nod of recognition; Continue, please. "Doesn't it bother you?" Her head inclined curiously at the speaker, who had by now stopped, rooted on the spot. Numbers flashed over her eyes; Visuals, percentages, charts, graphs, probabilities. Nothing remotely linked to what she was trying to comprehend.  
  
"I do not understand."  
  
"Does it ever bother you..." MOMO sank back into the bed, covering her eyes wearily with two small, dainty hands, rubbing them in circular motions to relieve tension. KOS-MOS monitored her readings, though MOMO's temperature and heartbeat never wavered. "That they think of us as dolls? It's so sad... We're all the same. Why are we treated so differently? I love daddy just as much, but... I'm not Sakura. I'm no good."  
  
She smiled sadly into her lap as the door opened once again, the metallic ring of KOS-MOS' shoes hitting the floor fading softly into the corridor beyond.  
  
]---------------------------------------------[  
  
True to past occurence, Captain Matthews had fallen flat on his back from the high perch he usually sat in, remaining in a deep sleep all the same. Tony and Hammer watched on cautiously as Shion attempted to move him more towards the outer edges of the room, being the only one with enough gall to risk her life going anywhere near the snoring man. She had barely succeeded in relocating him and recovering his ballcap from the perch, when KOS-MOS stepped daintily from the doorway, a small screen in hand. Her teammates watched on curiously as she proceeded to plug it in as an extension of the Elsa's main camera system, preparing for the worst as Shion stormed in her general direction, fists balled at her sides.  
  
"KOS-MOS, what is it that you're trying to do? And where have you been all morning?" No answer. Shion repeated herself twice more before the android swung her head around and met her gaze full-force, lips pulled taut in perfect expression: Worry, was it?  
  
"KOS-MOS-"  
  
"There is a high probability that you may wish to monitor the little one," she stated simply, letting her face fall back into its usual state of subdued expression. Shion heard the soft noises made by the computer as it booted itself up, gaze remaining warily on KOS-MOS.  
  
"Little one?"  
  
In an instant a large screen covered the front of the Elsa, clearly reflecting what appeared to be the remains of a picture frame, tossed haphazardly to the ground, glass cover shattered. The fragments glittered in the moonlight, as tiny hands gathered the pieces carefully, delicately, avoiding the sharp edges. She'd picked up a large piece and stared, studying the intensity of her golden eyes in the faint light cast overhead. MOMO: she was on her knees at the beach.  
  
The reaction was almost unanimous; many of them simply stared, utterly confused. Shion's eyebrows now raised, she continued to watch as the same piece of glass dropped to the ground at the girl's feet. At the same time, Jr. had bolted from his seat and made for the door, stopped by KOS-MOS' cold, commanding glare.  
  
"What the hell? C'mon, what'd you do to her-"  
  
MOMO stood with some difficulty, discarding the glass into a small pile with slight hesitation, burying it with her foot. She then retrieved the picture from its resting place in the sand some distance away, studying Sakura's fragile smile once more before tearing the picture in two, separating the daughter from her mother and father. The two halves fluttered, weightlessly, in the air before descending slowly onto the sand. Shion's hand flew to her mouth.  
  
"Oh, dear... KOS-MOS, what happened?"  
  
However, there was no time for a response. MOMO took flight, running down the length of the beach as loose parts of her uniform trailed behind in the wind. Desperately, she'd thrown herself to the water, landing on her knees and crawling deeper, deeper, the waves swirling softly around her. Her entire body shaking with a sob she'd been trying rigorously to contain, she crawled further, stopping to sit up and stare into the depths. To Shion's relief, the little girl's eyes had softened, now shedding the tears she'd held in for weeks.  
  
"It was so easy the other day. Come on, I need to forget!" MOMO pawed at the surface of the water, willing it to swirl faster, to calm her. She tried to grasp it, to hold it close to her, but it slipped through her clenched hands. Defeated, she let herself fall limp, staring at her clear reflection on the water's surface with a look of utter pain. "I need to forget, so I can be happy for them. Is that too much to... to ask?" In truth, she didn't exactly understand everything she was trying to say. She understood the pain she felt, the horrible feelings that seemed to linger around the picture and those shown in it, but the depth of her reaction came as a shock. Somewhere, she found it odd that she'd chosen the beach to come to, though it seemed to fit.  
  
*  
  
She wanted to go there, she says, to dance underneath the sun and swim in a vibrant ocean of mignonette and daisies. But she wanted the sun to be real. And she wanted her daddy to dance with her, to be happy and be close to her.  
  
*  
  
Onboard the Elsa, the control room was silent as Jr. sprinted towards the exit, Shion and Ziggy not far behind.  
  
.  
  
[send feedback to cathe@kururu.org] 


	4. Revelation

[AN: :D I don't know what drove me to write this chapter, but I hope to have a better chapter up after this (now that I'm sure of where I want this story to go, that is). Thanks to pookakitten, Kyosnekozukigirl, Sakura, Lizabeth, Lauryn, Arcia and sniperyingfa for reviews, and chapter 5 will (hopefully) be finished soon.]  
  
.  
  
There was that moment, that beautiful second in which everything was calm. The water was still; no voices could be heard from the surrounding sectors, no late night sounds. Her heart beat had steadied to a reasonable point, and she'd managed to pull herself up onto the beach, onto the white sand she loved, staring up at the sky from where she now lay on her back. The sky seemed rather dull tonight; she closed her eyes to it.  
  
Locks of her hair mingled with the sand, small grains peppering her face and clothes. Her eyes had snapped open at the sound of footsteps; voices? Voices.... Coming closer, were they? The tears flowed in a torrent she couldn't stop. She felt helpless and childish, crying alone on the beach, but it was a form of release that she needed. Her body and mind craved it.  
  
"MOMO!!" It was a strange voice, a familiar tone tinged with hysteria and a note of sadness. There was no use in getting up, as she'd have to face whoever it was eventually, so she remained sprawled on the ground, sobs wracking her body more violently. It wasn't long before she looked up to find a pair of blue eyes staring back, the ashen face of a friend she knew so well. He looked like a stranger, his eyes watering visibly, looking down on her with the most painful expression she'd ever seen on his face. She couldn't contain the gasp that escaped her lips.  
  
After a brief moment, the glitter in her eyes became a dull, listless glow.  
  
For a long while he tried to say something, though words obviously failed him. Instead, he stood over her, mouthing wordlessly what he wanted to tell her, to no avail. In a sudden surge of movement, MOMO had struggled to her feet and tried to stand straight, quaking slightly and wrapping her arms around him for comfort. She willed herself to stand separate, to handle it by herself. But she couldn't; it was too hard. She leaned gratefully against him.  
  
"I'm okay, Jr... I couldn't help it. But I'm okay now."  
  
The tears continued to fall, despite how she'd tried so hard to stop them. She pulled her lips into what should have been a smile, which failed miserably. Eyes closed in concentration, she made another attempt, pulling away and grinning feebly up at him. She'd done it. She'd conquered the miserable feeling that had set itself in the pit of her stomach, if only for a second or two. She could feel Jr. shiver slightly as he raised a hand to her cheek, looking over the swollen, puffy face of the realian in fascination. She was crying. The realization hit hard.  
  
He wanted to know why. But not now. For now, he was satisfied that she hadn't done anything rash, though that sort of thing was against her nature. Her body went rigid against his own, as she spotted half of the picture, half exposed from its resting spot under the sand; with an ill sound, she turned away. Forget about it, she told herself. Don't look at it. It'll go away.  
  
However, he'd remembered what he wanted to say earlier. "KOS-MOS showed us the picture... But... Was it really you?" Her mind seized up and she pulled away, taking swift strides towards the half of the picture showing Sakura. He couldn't see it. He'd hate her for it. MOMO hid the picture behind her back, wringing it between her hands.  
  
With a sudden shift from foot to foot, he's gotten rather uncomfortable, it seems. "Tell me what happened. Maybe.. I can help."  
  
Still grasping the picture, MOMO shook her head vigorously so that her hair seemed to float in the air around her. She knew that she needed to deal with it by herself, or with Shion's help. But it bothered her to let Jr. see this weakness, and though she admitted that it might be of her best interest to show him the photograph, a deeper part of her told her that it would push him away.  
  
"You don't have to show me the picture, then. Just... Tell me what's wrong." A compromise? Just short of shaking her head again, MOMO stopped to consider it. He didn't have to see her weakness to help; in fact, perhaps he could tell her why she was feeling this way. Her head bobbed lightly, as if to say 'yes'. His smile reached his eyes.  
  
Severing eye contact, MOMO hesitated and took a breath. "Wouldn't you be sad, too? I think it's the right thing to feel..." For a moment she was contemplative, resting a cheek in her palm as Jr. had been doing just minutes before. "...but I could be wrong. Jr...." MOMO smiled weakly and lowered her eyes to the sand resting just at the base of the water, studying how the waves slid silently over its surface. Time to tell the truth.  
  
"Mommy thinks MOMO is a doll," MOMO concluded. "I'm of no value to mommy." A distinctive star above them flashed dully as she spoke, continuing to do so as her voice died away.  
  
"That's not true..!"  
  
She looked up at the sky, smiling a bit to herself through the tears. "But daddy loved me. He loved me and Sakura both. Mommy sees the difference between her real daughter and the fake, and she doesn't like it. It's not only the eyes." MOMO nodded decisively, wiping her eyes on one sleeve and giggling. "Is this feeling correct..? It hurts a lot when I think of the picture...."  
  
She'd said too much. It was only seconds later that Jr. realized who Sakura was and what the picture had shown. It was the same photo he'd seen countless times before, resting in a pile of belongings at the foot of MOMO's bed. Juli and Joachim Mizrahi, and their little girl with blue eyes and pink hair, who he'd thought was MOMO. Thinking back, he didn't quite know why he hadn't considered the possibility. For now he'd search for a way to make her feel better, even if it meant more questions.  
  
"Exactly how did it make you feel?" Flustered, MOMO knitted her eyebrows and frowned deeply, in thought. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly and looked back at him curiously. "I felt like I was in pain."  
  
Silence. Her body shook as the cold, damp air settled on her skin.  
  
"You're not Sakura, MOMO," The girl moaned and stepped back a little, close to losing her balance. He panicked and took a step towards her before continuing. "But I'm glad for that. We're all glad for that, believe me. If your... 'mother'... doesn't see that, then it's not worth getting upset over." He added a rude statement or two about Juli Mizrahi to himself to add impact to what he was saying, partially to help himself continue while she watched him with those large, sad eyes.  
  
MOMO bit the inside of her lip and stumbled towards him, the tears ebbing considerably. She wanted to be Sakura, she wanted her mommy to love her, she wanted life to be as simple as it had been before mommy had sent her to Pleroma. She wanted her daddy back. Through all of this, it occurred to her that she was being selfish, that daddy was in heaven with his Sakura now. Was mommy jealous? Because MOMO was jealous. She'd tried so hard to be good for her father, but in the end she had little to account for.  
  
Another thought struck her, and hard.  
  
"Jr... If I were Sakura, I wouldn't have met all of you."  
  
Looking rather dumbstruck, he looked and saw her skin pale through the tears. Her eyes had widened as the pupils shrank, giving her a horrified expression. Though she seemed to think that life might have been better if she hadn't gone through all of this, imagining the past period of time any other way seemed ridiculous. The tears increased ten-fold, though with a different emotion behind them. And then it happened: MOMO was staring directly at him, her lips pulling into a shy, cute smile.  
  
"Jr.," she choked, folding her hands in front of her and slouching a bit as if weighed down, "That's the one thing I never want to think about."  
  
]---------------------------------------------[  
  
Shion kept him behind long after MOMO had fallen asleep, watching as the girl tossed fitfully in her bed. "You know, I'm surprised she hadn't caught fever," she muttered, turning on him with those damned eyes so that he knew she was going to ask him something. "But I digress." In her arms sat a pile of blankets, wrapped loosely as they'd soon been rebuffed by MOMO, insisting that she wasn't cold. Boxes of medicines lay scattered across the floor, from the attempts Shion had made at getting MOMO to swallow at least one.  
  
"She doesn't tell me anything," She glanced occasionally at MOMO, who had settled on her side and pulled one blanket over her head. For the first time, she looked genuinely worried over the girl's well-being. "I want to help her, but she doesn't want anyone to know. I hope she doesn't feel that we'll alienate her for any of this, quite the contrary." Gingerly, a golden eye opened beneath the blanket, fluttering slowly a moment later as Shion's head turned.  
  
"You know, I keep waking up and she's not in her bed. For a while it scared me, but now that I know where she goes..." At this he seemed interested, raising his eyes from the floor to meet Shion's briefly. Mentally, he checked off a list of places she might go to if she'd woken in the middle of the night to a silent room. "She sleeps on the floor in KOS-MOS' chambers, for the most part. I think she feels safe there; no, I hope she feels safe there. At least she sleeps at all."  
  
Shion smiled and chuckled into the semi-darkness. "And I thought she was intimidated by KOS-MOS..."  
  
MOMO hiccuped softly from underneath the comforter, leaving Shion to hasten towards the bed. She lifted the covers and looked down, the realian resting serenely in the bed's center in the midst of her hair, spread out on her pillow. Watching, a strange sense of mortality settled over her, and she felt inexplicably saddened.  
  
"Be good to her, okay? She deserves that much." Shion had turned, the full force of her movement and the words she'd just spoken rendering him senseless. She stood at her full height in the center of the room, hands on hips, glowering at him. "I have faith that you will be, I've seen the two of you." Shion then grinned mischievously and made a gesture as to shoo Jr. from the room.  
  
"Eh!?"  
  
She'd already turned to a heap of clothing next to her bed, rooting through it to find something to sleep in. "Go to bed, Jr. Don't worry about it."  
  
Looking flustered, he stood and prepared to leave, stopping at the doorway to give her a quick glance as she huffed and returned to the task of putting the blankets away.  
  
.  
  
[send feedback to cathe@kururu.org] 


	5. Confession

[AN: Sorry it took so long, but I wasn't home for a week and had trouble fixing this chapter up, between work and fixing up my MOMO shrine. Sorry for making the last chapter so angsty. Thanks to Reika, Sakura, Arcia, Crimson Snow, Lizabeth, kioke678 and AngelicKirschwasser for reviews. Chapter 6 is already in the works.]  
  
.  
  
Shion awoke adjacent to an empty bed, its covers thrown haphazardly into its center; however, judging by the faint light slipping in through the doorway, left slightly ajar, MOMO was up and about rather than sleeping in another room. Shion could always tell; when she moved to another location to sleep, the lights remained off. Otherwise, she left a small pathway of lights back to her room. She decided to stay in bed and wait until someone came to call on her, returning her head to the pillow, beckoning sleep once more. For a few moments she tried to let go of any random thoughts that still remained with little in the way of results, and resorted to counting slowly to one hundred, two hundred-  
  
Something crashed to the floor on the opposite side of the room, startling Shion out of a state of semi-sleep and causing her to release a sharp, high-pitched scream. Her body remained painfully still as her eyes scanned the vague outlines of the room around her; the edges of a chair, piles of clothing on the floor, her UMN phone resting on the tabletop. She noted that her personal computer had also tumbled into the pile of clothing. Nothing more than that. She let her gaze wander to the wall, and down.  
  
Her laugh was stoney, vague, as her eyes met the cause of the noise: one of MOMO's weapons, the dragon rod, knocked off of its perch by a sudden movement made by the ship. Nothing more or less. Its shape was silhouetted as a shadow against the wall, the edges glittering with the hall light.  
  
As the miserable feeling in her gut persisted, Shion crawled to the edge of the bed and stepped down, feeling the icy cold of the floor against her feet. The air was thin, frigid, though she had become used to it by now, travelling in space for so long. With a moment's hesitation to consider the benefits bringing a blanket might reap, she stepped carefully towards the door, avoiding random items scattered beneath her, retrieving the small weapon before returning to the doorway. Her arms rested slightly to her front, reaching for the wall in case Shion couldn't tell where it was.  
  
The door gave way to a light push, and Shion stepped into the vast, dimly-lit hall beyond.  
  
"May I remind you, captain, that this is a serious matter and must be dealt with in an equally serious state of mind."  
  
The only notable sounds came from the front of the ship, in which she guessed the crew still sat, arguing over matters of debt or tomorrow's flight plans. Surely enough, as she approached the control room, several male voices drifted out, which she recognized as Tony, Hammer and Matthews. Another voice pitched in, and with a start she realized that Gaignun was still here. As Shion entered, the aforementioned looked up, and Shion noticed Mary, Shelley and Jr. towards the back, discussing something hurriedly. Matthews looked ill.  
  
"Good... er- morning, Miss Vector." Matthews grumbled, grateful for the temporary distraction. They all looked up to see Shion, hair disheveled and eyelids drooping with fatigue, leaning into the door frame with a look of contempt and gripping one of MOMO's weapons so hard that her knuckles had turned white. Had she woken up for nothing? The looks she'd gotten gave off mixed signals; though the empty expression on Gaignun's face caught her eye and something inside of her clenched up. Was something wrong after all?  
  
"Do you know where MOMO is?"  
  
No, she didn't. Of course not. Once she'd given in to sleep, Shion had no control over the girl, which MOMO tended to take advantage of. She certainly would have watched her, had she not needed the rest so badly. She inquired as to why they wanted to know, but was ignored as Gaignun rose and gave a nod to Matthews, who started up several cameras spread over the ship. All came up blank.  
  
"Do you think it was U-TIC?" Mary, swinging her legs back and forth to kick the leg of her chair, spoke to no one in particular. "There were witnesses who reported strange men clad in purple uniform, but-" She stopped at the look Jr. was giving her. Gaignun chuckled grimly.  
  
His fingers beat rhythmically on the surface he leaned onto. "No. It wasn't them. They wouldn't have the gall." Still, his eyes shifted nervously as the cameras continued to search throughout the Elsa. Shion and Mary noticed, and the worry set in. Shion's mind seemed not to be taking anything in.  
  
"Shit." Matthews hit the keyboard hard, knocking himself off balance. Several of the screens disappeared, leaving more in their wake, all empty. Besides background scenery of the Elsa's rooms, not a living soul could be found. Matthews grumbled and cursed. Check KOS-MOS' room, she wanted to tell them. She'll be there, as usual.  
  
Eventually (after a healthy amount of cursing on Matthews' part), the AGWS hangar came into view, and in the center of the camera stood KOS-MOS, wearing another unreadable expression. To her left, and in the direction she was currently facing, stood a cheerful MOMO, beaming proudly. Her arms were curled around the fluffy surface of a large, stuffed toy, one in the shape of bear which Shion had never seen before. The creature was grotesque, looking little like an actual bear she'd seen in photographs. It had soft, fragile caramel fur and large, black, beady eyes that bulged from its furry face.  
  
"Thank you for coming with me, KOS-MOS. I'm afraid of the dark." Her grip tightened around the soft surface of the toy posessively. Gaignun watched with increasing interest as the girl on the screen smiled brightly and bounced on the soles of her feet. "I'm glad I could find it, it should have been gone by now." KOS-MOS watched on with an air of interest as the realian child proceeded to a corner of the hangar and settled herself in a sitting position on the floor, still hugging the toy to her chest. "I think I can sleep now, if you wanna go to bed."  
  
For an instant KOS-MOS did nothing, her eyes remaining locked on the teddy bear as if trying to understand why it brought the girl such comfort. Her scans showed nothing; she did not understand. But she could feel a pinprick of warmth growing in the pit of her stomach, and though she could not explain it, she felt the corners of her lips drawing themselves up, her eyes narrowing softly. It wasn't anger or concentration. It wasn't the sick smile she often saw on the enemy when they thought they zeroed in on a quick kill. It was warmer than that.  
  
MOMO, head bobbing happily, gave her companion a generous smile. "Mommy used to have one of these. She let me play with it all the time. And mommy used to have a big bed with red blankets, they were really soft, and I'd sit there with my teddy bear and she'd read to me. I liked that. She used to read me stories about heaven and angels and friends."  
  
In a nature true to her programming, KOS-MOS looked away and focused on the door to her chambers, trying to block the sudden surge of emotion she'd felt. "Realians require sleep, just as humans do." The smile threatened to return, and she did little to stop it. "You may regret lack of sleep in the morning." Truthfully, she had the urge to continue listening as MOMO recounted a happy memory. She wanted a memory, even if it wasn't her own. Memories were a human thing. Shion would be pleased.  
  
Shion watched, as she imagined the others were doing, in a state of disbelief. As she studied KOS-MOS, her mind replayed Kevin's very words on the subject of a glimmer of a heartbeat, and she incorporated the sudden use of 'regret' as an understood term into her excitement.  
  
"If you don't mind, I'd like to talk for a bit. I don't want to trouble anyone else, KOS-MOS, and you might be able to give me some advice." KOS-MOS seated herself to the girl's left, to Shion's surprise and delight, and watched as MOMO began. "Sometimes I feel like I'm not enough for everyone. Not enough for mommy as her daughter, not enough help in battle, just not good enough. I can't even make anyone smile anymore... Except for you." Her fingers had begun to tremble, and to hide it she gripped the teddy-bear with increased vigor. "Is it just me? Or do they expect something more out of me?"  
  
Joachim Mizrahi is rolling in his grave, thought a bemused Gaignun. Oh, he found it interesting, since he knew much more about what had happened than most. That didn't dismiss the fact that it bothered him in a way that was unnerving. He didn't see Joachim's daughter; he saw a realian girl expressing her deepest fear.  
  
Before KOS-MOS could respond, MOMO raised a hand to her and continued. "I know for a fact that I'm not good enough for mommy, though... Um... KOS-MOS? Don't repeat this, please." The teddy bear fell into her lap as she raised her arms, wringing her hands. "Before papa died, we -- mama, papa and I -- all lived together. I loved it. I always felt needed. But something went wrong, and after papa died I was sent back to the lab. She didn't want to see me. When I went to see her for the last time, she looked at me like she didn't know me, and told me to get out of her office, because I was pouring salt in old wounds. She packed up and left for Fifth Jerusalem the next day."  
  
"Pouring salt in old wounds?"  
  
"It's an expression for... I don't know, for making her remember something that hurt her? One of the things she was trying to forget."  
  
"You are neither a salt shaker, nor a gnosis. I do not understand."  
  
After a moment's silence, the point KOS-MOS was trying to make sunk in, and MOMO stifled a quick giggle. "No, I guess you're right. At least, I hope I'm not a gnosis. Or even a salt shaker. But I hope I'd know if I was." She let herself laugh freely, confusing KOS-MOS further. This situation didn't require that kind of reaction, and though she might allow a bungle on the part of a human, she didn't understand in the case of a realian. Realians were synthetic, just as she. As Shion had put it, there was little room for error in the life of the synthetic.  
  
The laughter quickly died.  
  
"KOS-MOS?" The android inclined her head, letting a blue veil of hair fall to frame her face. MOMO looked up from the floor, expression hopeful, and met the android's eyes timidly. "I can make you smile... Do you think I can make everyone else smile like that?" She'd been contemplating this same thing for the past few nights, imagining Shion, Ziggy, chaos, and Jr. as they watched her with sad expressions; always so sad around her. "They're not happy with MOMO? Or are they troubled? I wanna help."  
  
Any awe she'd held for KOS-MOS' sudden display came crashing through the floor as she turned to watch the realian girl tighten her grip on the stuffed animal, looking to the elder for guidance. No, she chided herself. You're being silly. KOS-MOS won't have an answer to that; it isn't logic. It's a silly question.  
  
"You are of no trouble. Your companions have a large amount to deal with..." She recalled a saying used by chaos on one occasion, when he'd come to visit her in the maintenance lab. "Give it time."  
  
With that, MOMO gave her a blank look and pulled herself to her feet. "Yeah... But that doesn't mean they should be so sad. Sometimes I feel like I cause it... Like the other night." Her pink hair fanned out in the air as she shook her head dismissively. "But goodnight, KOS-MOS. I have an idea. I'll tell you what happens tomorrow. And thank you for listening, it's really helped."  
  
Matthews closed the screen without further fanfare, the guilt of intruding in a private conversation washing over him, as well as the rest of the people seated in the room.  
  
]---------------------------------------------[  
  
Jr. tossed and turned, trying desperately to get to sleep. However, with Mary and Shelley chatting excitedly just a few steps from his bed, and Gaignun speaking to Helmer in a voice none too soft, it wasn't the easiest task. It wasn't as if their conversations were of any interest to him, anyway, so he decided that a walk might help him sleep. He had only to make a first move for the doorway when Mary noticed and darted in front of him, blocking the doorway with outspread arms.  
  
"Little master~ It's late. The thugs will be out, though god forbid should anyone mess with you." She gave a knowing glance to the gun holster he was in the process of re-attaching around his waist. "Besides, you need sleep!"  
  
He waved a hand dismissively, annoyed that she'd tried flattery. Mary liked to think she knew how to control him, and often he'd humor her. But not tonight. "I'll be back in an hour or two. There's nothing I can do here, anyways, and I can't sleep." The thought of adding another little comment about how loud they'd been 'discussing' Helmer's new theories crossed his mind several times. If he said something like that, however, he'd surely never leave this room again, least of all on his own two feet. All he wanted to do was sort out his thoughts, and when she moved out of the way, he was grateful that she didn't question, didn't follow. He'd decided that he needed this time to himself, though there was one other person he wouldn't mind seeing. The thought of admitting that to anyone, even to her, was enough to distract his attention as he walked through the streets of one of the upper sectors.  
  
Jr. found her bobbing along one of the streets happily, smiling politely to the occasional stranger and had her arms wrapped protectively around her middle. On one hand he was upset that she was out this late at night, but otherwise grateful. She spotted him quickly and jogged to where he was standing, grinning foolishly and almost tripping over her own feet in her hurry. People, many that knew him very well, turned to watch. Without a trace of hesitation, he grabbed her hand and dragged her off the street, away from the prying eyes of people who would more than likely report his excursion to Gaignun.  
  
"Wanna walk somewhere?" Suddenly feeling a bit shy, he gestured around them to any one of numerous areas they could go, leaving it entirely up to her. There was the beach, which she seemed to be fond of. The AGWS factory. Any of the sectors. Areas all over the Durandal. A small park he knew of on the eastern side of the foundation. She pondered it for a moment before giving a response.  
  
"The park. On the Durandal."  
  
And so they started out, side by side, not hurrying in the least. They hardly encountered another person the entire way, it being so late. From time to time MOMO cast a glance at him, walking to her right, and noticing the intense, serious expression he wore was disheartening. Thinking back to her conversation with KOS-MOS, she decided that she didn't like it one bit and set out to find any way she could change it.  
  
She decided she'd have to be as forward as to ask him outright, "Do I upset you, Jr.?"  
  
He looked startled for a moment or two, and she caught a trace of what appeared to be remorse in his blue eyes. He stopped walking and stared at her for a moment before realizing what it was she was getting at, thinking back to the conversation he'd overheard. Was she that worried? Did she really think that was the case? So, taking a chance, he leaned towards her and brushed her lips with his own. He smiled genuinely at her and took a few steps back.   
  
"Do you doubt it when I say you've got the wrong idea?" And it was as simple as that.  
  
Her face clearly showed the dawning understanding, and her eyes betrayed her relief and pleasure at his response. She started to walk again, the skip returning to her step. At times she'd slow her pace and turn to him, prepared to speak, but thought better of it. At least, until they reached the entrance ramp to the park, where she stopped.  
  
"If you get upset about anything, talk to me. I like it when you're happy." Her cheeks flushed visibly and she giggled sheepishly, embarassed by what she was saying. "I'm glad I haven't done anything to upset you. I was worried."  
  
Content to walk on in silence, MOMO studied the familiar landscape spreading before her as the escalator climbed and ended in front of a doorway, which in turn opened up to reveal a modern-day euphoria. She loved the trees and the environmental bugs that hovered silently over the area, serving the purpose of keeping the enclosed space clean. Whenever she studied the stars from the window, she felt a sense of longing deep in her stomach, as if she'd been created to do nothing but stare into the night sky. In fact, from her usual spot on a bench positioned near the window, MOMO did just that for hours on end, staying up deep into the night. It brought her comfort when troubled by an unpleasant thought.  
  
The entire park fell under a soft blanket of light shed by the environmental bugs and various lamps stationed overhead. It made the emerald of the leaves and grass much more poignant in MOMO's eyes, and accentuated the dark, sweet blue of the sky beyond the glass divider, in turn making the stars seem brighter.  
  
It was there that MOMO found herself thinking of her mother again. It was a bittersweet moment, remembering how she and her mother had shared such moments together before papa's death. When papa had died, Juli Mizrahi had taken a sudden turn, and MOMO couldn't say whether it was for better or worse. She'd always told herself that it was the only way her mother could deal with the deaths of papa and Sakura. Her mom would come around and learn to love MOMO for Sakura; or, at least, for the person she was, Sakura or no.  
  
Her body shivered involuntarily, and Jr. mistook it. He asked if she'd like to go back, or at least borrow his coat, and she shook her head. Not now. The surrounding air was comfortable, filled with the promise of an artificial dew by morning.  
  
Why was she thinking of this now? She chastised herself for ruining this moment with thoughts that weren't all that important, anyways. It could wait until later. Besides, although the scenario may be similiar to some ends, the emotion between the two was much different than what had existed of a mother-daughter relationship between Juli and MOMO. Though MOMO couldn't properly describe it, it gave her a warm, glowing feeling. The kind of relationship she'd seen between her parents, though not so distant and a little more naive. Maybe more comparable to the relationship Shion had described to her between herself and Kevin, the "endless nights of thinking about him, sick to your stomach, dizzy feeling you get when you see them" kind of thing.  
  
She chanced a lingering look at him, seated restlessly beside her, quite in contrast to the solitary calm she emenated. He was currently studying a cluster of stars in the distance, naming the corresponding stars in his mind, his blue eyes slightly clouded in thought, mouth pursed. One hand played idly with the edge of his trenchcoat, folding the sides in and out, while the other rested gently on the side of the bench. One of the fireflies hovered nearby, casting an opalescent glow over his face.  
  
She shivered again, and this time he insisted she take his trench coat, lest she catch cold.  
  
By the time they'd been there for a half hour, Jr. had grown quite restless, tapping his fingers on the bench, glancing frequently at MOMO and smiling to himself each time. Though most of the citizens had retreated to their chambers, Environmental bugs kept a constant vigil over the area, with the occasional person walking by in their hurry to get back to bed. Jr. chose this time, when everyone but themselves and the bugs had gone, to try a conversation. One he'd been thinking about for months, and had finally gathered the courage to initiate.  
  
"There's something we need to talk about," he started, fidgeting with his hands and staring into the distance. She looked up and smiled, that sweet, innocent smile of hers, meeting his eyes with a look of curiosity. They needed to talk about something? Though she had suspicions and hopes as to what he wanted to talk about, she didn't let her mind get carried away or allow herself to get wound up, only to be disappointed. "About... 'us'." Okay, maybe she wasn't lined up for disappointment after all. She flushed with anticipation.  
  
Both blushed a brilliant shade of crimson before he found a way to continue, after an awkward moment. For a while he considered just giving up the topic, but decided it was important to continue. Hell, of course it was important. He knew it was important to himself, that she was important to him, and could see the same reflected in her eyes. She was smiling in an awkward way, not sure if she wanted to give away how happy she was with an expression.  
  
MOMO returned her searching gaze to the stars, twinkling beyond the window. "About 'us'? Jr..." In an instant she had done a complete turn and had started to laugh, a rich, child-like laugh, though the meaning behind it wasn't entirely innocent. At the same time, she seemed to be holding something back.  
  
"Hey... I'm serious," He said, slightly offended. It had caught him off-guard. It wasn't her usual laugh; this was laced with fear and what he took as anger.  
  
"I know, Jr. I know." The laughter died then and there, caught in her throat, and she now took on an air of enervation. What she'd been trying to hide was the pain of the memory she'd thought of just minutes earlier, which now showed itself plain as day across her delicate face. Was she clinging to something long since gone? She couldn't deny that much. But as much as she'd like to swear off that she'd ever hesitated because of the rejection of her mother, she couldn't give up the memory.  
  
Juli Mizrahi still walked with a young MOMO in the back of the girl's present memory. As far as she could tell, mama still read to her the books her father had collected from auctions and excavations, gifts from other senators for his adorable, charming young daughter, the one they wanted to have the pleasure of meeting, the bright, promised people who never found out about Sakura's death. She might still be laying amongst the tangled, red sheets of Juli Mizrahi's bed, pointing out pictures of men and women with white wings and ivory-carved instruments.  
  
What would she tell him? "I can't return any feelings you may have, because I'm stuck in my past?" She couldn't bring herself to ponder it. She would not say it. But that meant she'd have to deal with it. It wasn't fair -- not only for the two of them, but for the rest of her acquantances and her mother -- if she lived with the regret. The regret of letting her mother slip out, not unnoticed, when papa had died. She knew that it meant speaking to Juli in person, getting her own answers. And she wasn't ready for that quite yet; but she'd play through the motions until she was.  
  
"Are you talking about being like the couples here on the foundation? Like the man and woman we saw from the train, holding hands? Or like Shion and Allen, fighting all the time?" He smiled at her, nervously, and shrugged, recalling the couple from the platform and how MOMO had reacted to watching them as they passed by. And of course, he didn't want their relationship to be like Shion and Allen's. He had his doubts about the two, though he and the other members of the crew wouldn't dare say a word.  
  
"Maybe not like Shion and Allen. But I guess so."  
  
She looked as if she would burst. Her body quivered with the giggle she was trying to contain. Her eyes lit up with it. She turned again to the sky, the stars twinkling beyond, too happy to think of the demons she'd have to face in order to move on. For a moment her mother's memory dimmed and she jumped up to embrace him.  
  
.  
  
[send feedback to cathe@kururu.org] 


	6. Loss of faith

[AN: I've decided to start this story out on a darker twist. Of course, within the next two chapters you'll get to see exactly how Jr. and MOMO react to being in a relationship, and in chapters that follow the relationship will be a key factor. Thanks to SniperYingFa, Crimson Snow, Sword Master Supremia, Arcia, Gamer5389, PianZoe, Sakura and Lizabeth for reviews, as well as Daye for her e-mail. :D Possible fluff in next chapter.]  
  
.  
  
She arranged a date. She'd confided to Shion, her fears and hopes in confronting Juli Mizrahi. Shion had said simply that, in a misty, proud voice, "I hope you find what you're looking for." She would travel to fifth Jerusalem a week from now, confirmed during a UMN conversation with her mother just that morning, the first unmonitored exchange they'd had since that last day in her office. A week from now. In her office again. No attendants. Something important to discuss with her. Personal stuff and the like.  
  
Juli paused and gave her legal daughter a sympathetic look. "I do hope you know what you're after? I'm a busy woman." Without giving MOMO a chance to respond, Juli shook her head and once again became the stoic, beyond-your-reach woman she was; it was the one face she could not hide. The SOCE member and founder of U-TIC, no longer wife of the madman or mother of one, beloved daughter. No, make that two. Remove the 'beloved'.  
  
She'd clutched the bear through the entire conversation, for what little comfort it gave. She'd trembled and quaked against her will, feeling silly that her own mother could make her feel so unnerved. She couldn't focus. She so badly wanted to give up. But that was no longer an option.  
  
Now, an hour later, she found herself in the belly of the Elsa with Shion's UMN connection in hand. She wanted just as badly to escape the tormenting feeling of empty anticipation, and she knew the one way she could do it: through battle. Through the EVS she could escape, and return feeling refreshed. She would go through to the world KOS-MOS' encephalon had shown her, swing on the swing sets, and lose herself in bloodshed. It no longer bothered her to destroy gnosis, armed with the knowledge that it was she or they. Their blood would fade from this realm; human blood would not. She no longer tagged along during expeditions into areas with human soldiers.  
  
"Ziggy?" She wanted someone to accompany her in case she weren't strong enough. She needed a rock to lean on. The room was dark, so he'd either left off the light or gone back to sleep. "Ziggy?"  
  
She could just make out his faint silhouette, the cold reflection of light off of his metal arm, making its way towards her, and the light switch she stood by. Harsh light soon illuminated the room's dark corners, though it cast shadows over Ziggy's weary face. The smile he gave played vaguely through his eyes before fading into a stream of thought. He hoped she wouldn't notice anything different; but she did. She noticed. She felt the sudden fear that he might be angry with her for disturbing him.  
  
No turning back now. There was no reason to doubt that she had Ziggy's unconditional friendship; and she needed it now.  
  
"Could you come with me?" He raised an eyebrow expertly, without disturbing his curious expression. "I'm gonna go into the encephalon and train a bit." If Ziggy found it a strange request from his young companion, he didn't let on. He merely retreated into the room with a brief nod, straightened up a bit and returned to the doorway, weapon in hand. He followed her from the room, out into the hallway, and through the Elsa's inner areas to the nearest UMN access plate. She worked quickly in opening up the EVS area, Encephalon, typing with nimble fingers over a transparent screen. It was almost fascinating in itself. With a flash of sudden light they were gone.  
  
Around them the world unfolded, bursting forth from greyscale to the vibrant, delicate mixture of pastels and shades that made up the park. The monochromatic theme of the swingset and sand dome. The beautiful, pale, violet-kissed sunset overhead, casting light over the surrounding buildings. Red stains starting from the exit to this peaceful area and heading north: human blood. With a start she remembered a recent escapade into the encephalon, Shion, chaos and herself has made. The enemy had struck quickly, leaving Shion's arm a bloody mess. It swelled and dropped and pooled on the ground, leaving a stain.  
  
It's you or I, she thought, spotting the first gnosis.  
  
Its body was small and jagged, a tiny creature with a large snout and two knife-like fingers to each hand. The Kobold. Most dangerous for its multiple attack abilities and swift movement, though not the smartest gnosis she'd ever faced, made up for through group tactics. Sure enough, from where one had emerged came two more, snarling and spitting as they advance: it may have helped her to think of them as rabid dogs, but that meant accepting that their blood would not disappear. Her body began to move with a dancer's ease as it set into the usual pattern; evade, strike, injure. Evade, strike, kill.  
  
Her wand came into contact with the first kobold, sending a shivering wave of pink light into the gnosis' back. It gave a cry of anguish and she stumbled back, circling at a distance. The kobold's screams had managed to unnerve her for a moment, and she wouldn't allow it again. She gave the gnosis a wide birth before moving in for the kill, aiming to strike again at its side.  
  
How she moved, with her feet picking lightly off of the ground in a manner so precise it made him rethink the MOMO he was used to, was astounding. She ran with finesse and focus, absorbed in the task at hand. She put any and all of her stamina into what had now slowed to a slight jog around one of the straying kobold, put her trust in her wand that it would hit and kill off one or two of the gnosis.   
  
Without hesitation, Ziggy set in to pick off the two kobold she'd already injured with a brief punch or two. The one kobold, hit effectively in the stomach, shrieked and faded into a stream of light and blood; a strange combination, he noted, the bright light laced with runny crimson. The second, however, took off down the street with a snicker, encouraging Ziggy to give chase, which he did. He prided himself in being fast, despite the weight of his mechanical enhancements, and soon caught up with it.  
  
There was a bit of shuffling behind him, and he recognized the familiar sound of wings flapping free of their confines. He baited the straying kobold into an area close enough for MOMO to strike and stepped out of range.  
  
In moments MOMO was airborne with the aide of the dragon rod, which had now sprouted wings. She seemed to have some difficulty removing her feet from the ground, for she wavered a bit before finding a comfortable position in the air, and seemed ready to tumble back down. Once steadied, her back arched in a way she'd become used to, this being one of her favorite attacks, and she brought the dragon rod into position above her head, where it gave off several brilliant streams of light. The encephalon echoed with MOMO's resounding voice as she cried out, "Angel arrow". The area was bathed in a golden light, and for a moment everything else ceased to exist. When the light finally crept back and MOMO gracefully returned to the ground, the kobold fell dead, the stronger of the two giving a slight twitch before fading in a fashion identical to that of its predecessors.  
  
She used that attack no matter what the enemy. It allowed her a few seconds of escape into the warmth of a timelessness she could not describe. She would cover herself with light to keep her thoughts at bay. It was what her papa would have described as seeing the splendor of heaven; Mama thought of it as little more than rubbish.  
  
Ziggy approached from her left, looking slightly more fatigued than before. His blade retracted into the sleeve of his left arm with a resonant clang, and she noticed with a small pang of guilt that he looked troubled. Maybe he shouldn't have tagged along, after all.  
  
"Too easy this time. The enemies here are usually very strong."  
  
"Maybe we got stronger?" He snorted and took a seat on a concrete ledge nearby. Considering that they'd done very little training since arriving back from the Proto Merkabah, he doubted so. In fact, this was the first time MOMO had returned to the Encephalon since their first visit, during the federation government's raid of the Kukai foundation, and as far as he knew, was the first time in ages that she'd ventured into the environmental simulator.  
  
She took a seat beside him and kicked her feet against the wall. He found it strange that she was so silent, so composed, and he itched to start conversation with the cheerful, pure MOMO he knew was still there, behind however many barriers he need break to find her. It was as if she were hiding behind a new version of herself, and he hated it with a passion. He recalled a brief exchange with Shion that morning and knew he'd have to talk to her sometime.  
  
He felt the sudden urge to speak to his stepson, who hadn't been quite so pure or innocent as she. However, there were many similarities and differences he could not ignore. For one, he'd never again have the chance to start up such a conversation with his stepson. Chastising himself mentally, he turned to her with a tiny smile.  
  
"Shion recently passed on a bit of gossip to me, and I'd like you to confirm if it's true. Personally, I think I was talking to an impostor. She seemed a bit too bubbly to be Shion." He grinned to himself, remembering the way she'd ploughed into his room late last night, huffing, puffing and grinning like a fool. In fact, she'd been quite caught up in whatever she'd learned, enough so that she ran square into the wall on the room's western side and fell to the floor with a thud. She was moving to get up on her feet again before he could get up to help her.  
  
"Have I ever got news for you!" She shouted, accentuated with a curt laugh as she pulled herself to her hands and knees. Her cheeks were rosey and her eyes slightly dulled, and he could tell she'd obviously been drinking something or other.  
  
"But you're drunk. This information can't be anything reliable."  
  
She shook her head and balanced herself against the wall. "Quite the contrary. And I'm not drunk. But I did have a bottle of something from Tony's stash... By the way, you'd better not mention that last little detail to Matthews-" She laughed nervously and played with her hands, wringing them and occasionally drumming her fingers. "I just felt it an occasion to celebrate, and the alcohol was just... there." She proceeded to tell him that her little MOMO was growing up, and for a moment he was afraid Shion had done something to have influence over her. But as she continued it was evident that she'd had very little to do with this situation.  
  
MOMO was blushing furiously at his side now, nonetheless looking pleased. "You're not upset that I didn't tell you first? Shion kinda... guessed." Though she couldn't see the expression he wore, he watched her with a new sort of fatherly awe and respect. No, not mad. Not upset. A little curious, maybe. He was quite pleased, himself, and felt the urge that Shion described to have a 'celebratory drink'. Needless to say, he'd have to have words with Jr., but those could wait.  
  
"Not at all. I'm proud of you." Just like it had on that day, many weeks ago, when he'd watched her finish her crayon drawing, her face scrunched up like a child's, eyes all lit up like a toddler on their birthday. She now had the cake and candles to make a wish on. "But be careful and don't get carried away, or I might just have to take a more violent step."  
  
"You don't have to worry about us." She smiled and continued to kick her feet idly against the concrete, stopping to look over at Ziggy once or twice. It would have hurt if he'd been anything other than happy about it. She'd expected him to be at least a bit protective of her, as usual, and the fact that he wasn't brought up an odd string of emotions. On one hand she was relieved. On the other it upset her in a deeper way, and she felt the same way she had when she'd discovered the room of her birth in the depths of Proto Merkabah, accepting that papa had been and had created an abomination.  
  
Right now, she felt the sudden need to call him 'papa'. He was more of a father to her now than her own could ever be.  
  
]---------------------------------------------[  
  
Ziggy had hinted (albeit obviously) that she'd remained in the Encephalon for the day, with a knowing wink to match. Not only did Ziggy never act in this carefree, teasing manner, but he'd managed to barge into Gaignun's private library to seek out Jr. as well. When he appeared not to be leaving, Jr. threw the book he was currently reading in his general direction and stood. He wanted to get the hell out of here and find her, and end the wild goose chase in which he'd been participating in all day. Ziggy made no move to stop him; however, his presence made Jr. stop at the door anyways.  
  
"Look, old man, I know what you want to hear... You don't have to worry, okay? I swear on my life that I'll be good to her and protect her." He reached for one of his guns, fully loaded and ready to fire, and ran it in a cross-like pattern over his chest in demonstration, then let his arm fall back to his side.  
  
"That's good to know, runt."  
  
"Shaddup." They exchanged a brief glance, in which Jr. eyed Ziggy warily and the latter simply stared. For a moment the notion of shooting him in the arm for the element of surprise, and running like hell crossed Jr.'s mind. Too bad that his arm was a metallic substitute. It would mean too much to MOMO if Jr. hauled off and shot her bodyguard for little reason, anyways. They'd just have to get along for now, even if that meant putting himself into these awkward situations in the first place.  
  
Ziggy slowly grinned and motioned for him to hurry up, taking a seat in the chair Jr. had previously occupied and picking out another book. He didn't need further encouragement, and bolted out the door, past Mary and Gaignun (the latter who gave a knowing chuckle and simply returned to work), through the hallways of the Durandal and into the casino area, which he knew certainly contained an EVS plate. Within minutes he was able to connect to the UMN and access the Encephalon simulation, as well. As soon as the world had materialized, he looked around wildly for her pink hair.  
  
The girl who greeted him was not MOMO. She had waist-length orange hair and would have stood a bit shorter than MOMO (it was hard to tell, seeing as she was sitting on the swingset), with hollow blue eyes and thin lips. Her white dress was tattered around the hem and swayed back and forth as she did, with a ghostly ease that he found disturbing. Her pretty little face was contorted into a cross between a grimace and a smile; the look he'd seen Albedo give him when he experienced a particularly strong wave of bloodlust. Shadows danced over her cheeks only to add to the foreboding look. He heard the soft creak of metal on metal as she swung back and forth.  
  
Her smile seemed shaky and almost automatic as she slowed and stood, letting her hair fall around her. Her body jerked unnaturally as she walked toward where he now stood, frozen. Had not another figure bounded into the area, he might have feared what she would have done to him upon moving any closer. Thankfully, as MOMO appeared behind the swing set, Nephilim gave a soft cry as her body rapidly faded into bits and pieces of code, trailing off into the surrounding air before disappearing. He suspected she was still there, watching, but she didn't like the second presence.  
  
"Hello, Jr.!" She looked quite happy this morning, rushing toward him as fast as she could. A few feet from him she stopped and gave him a quizzical look that made him realize he'd been staring at one of the buildings. He reached up to scratch the back of his head, embarrassed. She turned sharply and stared off towards the neurosis hospital with an expression that clearly explained her confusion; they both looked just in time to see the last tendrils of orange hair disappearing over the roof. MOMO looked unnerved.  
  
"She followed Ziggy and I. It scared me, but I ignored her, and I guess Ziggy didn't see her or he would have made me leave." She was biting her bottom lip and staring apprehensively at the roof. "She looks... angry. She kept trying to approach me as if she were going to hurt me, especially so once Ziggy left. She was just there, all of a sudden, and she started to walk toward me. So I ran away."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"She just came out of nowhere. Her face was downcast and it was really screwed up... She'd appear on top of a building or even a couple of paces away and just walk toward me, smiling. She looked so unnatural. I hope Ziggy didn't notice anything or he'll tell Shion, and it'll ruin today-" They caught another flash of orange and white to their left before it faded away. "But we shouldn't worry, I guess, huh? Let's go."  
  
For a while they walked, neither speaking, unconsciously eyeing the world around them in search of anything abnormal. There was nothing more than the occasional flash of orange and white, a glimpse of her tiny cross necklace. Jr. decided that the only way he'd give up on his watching would be if these brief appearances stopped completely, and so he pulled MOMO protectively to his side. She blushed.  
  
"I told Ziggy," she said in a low whisper. "I'm so glad. He seemed really happy!" Understanding dawned on Jr., and for once he was glad that Ziggy had gone to MOMO first. Maybe he wasn't as bad as Jr. had first thought; the idea made him smile. MOMO seemed quite pleased with his reaction and continued, "Shion was happy, too. She kept following me around and giving me all kinds of funny advice, like-"  
  
She stopped in mid-sentence, completely frozen at his side, and the sudden change caused Jr. to jump back out of surprise. MOMO was staring wide-eyed into the bushes adjacent to them, her skin turning a funny shade of ashen gray as the seconds passed. He mouthed the word 'run' to her before grabbing her arm and dragging her away. When she looked back she was met with the familiar sight of a large, blue eye peeking out of the brush, moving upwards and materializing as Nephilim emerged and regarded them tentatively, swaying eerily. She smiled and MOMO suppressed the urge to cry out.  
  
"Mizrahi....?"  
  
A sick feeling settled in MOMO's stomach at the mention of that name.  
  
"Mizrahi."  
  
"It's MOMO. I'm not Doctor Mizrahi. I'm his... I'm his Realian daughter." She found Jr.'s hand and gave it a squeeze, squinting her eyes. "What do you--"  
  
She didn't get the chance to finish. The girl smiled and moved from the bushes with relative ease, and now stood with her arms held alert, as if ready for battle. Her face was angled toward the ground, and the shadows only deepened as her hair whipped in a torrent around her face, despite the lack of wind. She started forward and continued to repeat the name in broken syllables, stumbling as she went. "Mi..... zra......... hi!"  
  
MOMO did the only thing she found herself able to do: She tightened her grip on Jr.'s hand and took off on a run, deeper into the encephalon, blindly passing Miltian landmarks in her haste. She was well aware that, at some point, they had entered a wooded area, though she couldn't distinguish exactly when. She wouldn't stop running, despite Jr.'s pleas that Nephilim had already disappeared. She could feel tears stinging her eyes.  
  
The tree cover diminished gradually, and through them she could see the church at the center of a wide meadow. With a sharp cry of "Febronia!", the two ran inside and let the door slam closed behind them, the wooden thud resounding through the empty church hall. There was no one there, despite the fact that they could clearly hear footsteps in one of the other rooms. Jr. wondered if it was worth remaining here, with Nephilim's presence a constant threat.  
  
"I'm scared--" She was trembling and crying all at once, gripping his hand a little too tight. She'd never felt such an intense wave of dread; not when confronting the reactor core of Proto merkabah, nor when dealing with Albedo himself. As relief and fear mingled, more poignant than ever, she let the tears fall. "Why did she keep saying 'mizrahi'...!?" MOMO hiccoughed and lowered her head. He ran his thumb along the side of her hand and stared, unsure of what to say next.  
  
They may just as well have stayed there for hours. After settling themselves on the floor at the back of the church, Jr. stared off toward the statue of a holy woman at the front, while MOMO studied him apprehensively. Light poured softly through the stain-glass windows peppering either side of the church, and she was able to retain the warm, gentle feeling of timelessness once again. She closed her eyes, traces of the tears and old pains gently, slowly fading into infinity.  
  
"You look like you've calmed down a bit... Is it this place? Do you like it here?" She opened her eyes to meet his and smiled softly, nodding. She would not explain it, yet. It was her own personal escape, and now wasn't the time to tell him. He smiled back. "It's nice here. Comforting. Peaceful. And the church itself is a work of art, huh?" She nodded her consent and let her gaze wander over the polished wood of the walls, the colored glass panels of the windows, and the cushioned seats of the pews. Febronia kept the entire thing dusted, which MOMO imagined to be quite the feat. The older realian often 'prayed' at the altar, folding her hands in front of her and closing her eyes before beginning a silent vigil.  
  
"We can go now. There's an exit somewhere in the church--" he was cut off as the doors opened, and they both held their breath until it was clear that it was only Febronia who had entered. She did not notice them at first, and they watched as she bustled with the lock before turning in their direction and smiling peacefully.  
  
"This is unexpected. I suppose you've seen Nephilim?" Her smile quickly disappeared, replaced by a look of worry. She set down a basket of clothing she'd been carrying and swept over in their direction, her skirt swaying softly, and kneeled in front of MOMO. "She didn't hurt you? I must admit, she's been acting most odd, since--"  
  
Jr. grunted and stood, narrowing his eyes as he looked down at her. "Since what?" She looked up as if she hadn't noticed him stand, and gave him a look that he'd come to hate quite thoroughly: That blank, vacant stare often seen on realians. The same look MOMO had given him when he'd snapped at her in the encephalon the first time around. A look that told him that, however much he might hurt her, there was nothing she could do about it. It spoke volumes for itself, telling anyone who saw it that she no longer cared. Whenever he thought about it, he felt sick.  
  
She smiled and walked away, not bothering to answer his question, but giving them the benefit of pointing out that there was an exit point in one of the back rooms should they decide to leave. She disappeared into what he guessed was the confessions chamber before they could argue the point, so it was dropped.  
  
"We should get out of here," MOMO said weakly at his side. She'd never seen Febronia look this upset before, second to the time she'd watched her sisters playing in the empty field and begged Shion to save them. But where Febronia had her faith in religion to carry her through it, MOMO wasn't so sure. Shion had explained that, during a previous visit to the encephalon, Febronia had told them that they were safe in the church as long as they believed. What if they didn't believe? She hadn't given them an answer. She realized she'd been drifting off when she felt a light touch on her shoulder, and looked over to see Jr. studying her.  
  
"Let's go, then. I think she wants to be alone." As she trailed behind Jr. to the exit, she cast a quick glance at the door Febronia had left through, and placed a hand on her chest. Though she didn't realize it, her thoughts drifted down the same path Jr.'s had earlier: In her fellow realian's eyes, she saw a look of utter defeat and pain. A look of submission.  
  
]---------------------------------------------[  
  
Febronia was walking, padding softly over tendrils of grass and tiny flowers. She took care to stick to the path, in case she should ruin a delicate blossom or step on anything living. Occasionally she would stop, just to stare into the horizon, setting as it did with vibrant mixtures of blue, orange and pink. Behind her stood a backdrop of endless hills, forests and natural rivers, or so it should seem. Far away, further than she'd ever be able to walk, stood a meadow surrounded by the turquoise of the ocean and the cerulean of the sky. At its very center danced two little girls, similar to herself in appearance, around the base of the largest elm tree most people would ever see.  
  
Or, at least, they used to. That place was now long abandoned, and the girls were trapped somewhere horrible with no way to escape. Every day she chastised herself for allowing it to happen. Every day she was haunted by the expressions displayed on their hollow faces, the way their flesh hung from their bones, their hungry, fatigued cries as they continued to run. God knows what would happen if they stopped.  
  
She always felt so helpless when she saw it. She knew that she'd given up hope long ago, and wondered why she remained here. Lately, she felt the smallest glimmer of something whenever she saw Shion or MOMO: Febronia knew for a fact that Shion dreamed of the happier place, of saving her sisters. As for MOMO, she saw a pure heart that reminded her of Cecily and Cathe themselves, and felt buoyed by her happiness and sympathy.  
  
Today she'd seen a MOMO she did not recognize. She felt no warmth from the realian child, and doubted she had much of it to offer, anyways. She saw the same fear and loneliness in the girl's eyes as she did in Cecily's, the hunger and longing in Cathe's. She also realized that Shion no longer dreamed of the purity of the green meadow and, with deep sorrow, admitted that everyone around her was losing faith. Why, even Jr. had looked downcast and weary, something she'd hoped she'd never have to see. Though they were sitting beside each other, hands intertwined, both seemed tired and reluctant to accept any of life's latest twists. This sudden revelation brought her to many conclusions of her own, which she accepted readily as she would anything else, be it good or bad.  
  
Her laugh was soft and sorrowful as she admitted to herself that, although she may retain a bit of her faith, the only reason Nephilim hadn't killed her by now was because she remembered the unhappy side of the story.  
  
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[send feedback to cathe@kururu.org] 


	7. Fledgling

[AN: Sorry this took so long to come up with, but I've rewritten this chapter a hundred times and still couldn't seem to get it right. :X A strictly plotless chapter, just to set the stage for the next chapter and to sit here and act fluffy. Thanks to Lizabeth, 123, Sakura, Sword Master Supremia, Kioke678, Crimson Snow and Kitsune-love for reviews.]  
  
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Second Miltia came into view in all of its glory on the horizon, and as they neared MOMO could clearly isolate the soft white clouds formed over their landing area through the window--It was snowing. While she made a show of smiling, her eyes drifted lamely from cloud to cloud, her mind wandering elsewhere as she stumbled ahead. Somehow, the metallic clang of her feet on the floor fit perfectly with the icy landscape, like a winter chime playing softly in the background.  
  
Maybe it was "Jingle bells", with rusty old metal bells attached to a leather strap which one of the singers would shake in time with the beat of the tune. Or "Silent Night", which her mama had tried to sing to her one night but forgot some of the words - so she'd taken to humming the tune instead, her face softening at the mere thought of attending church services around this time of year with her own mother. MOMO thought it more suiting that the sound of soft footsteps should prove to be the snow's anthem, simple and perfectly suited to what pieces of the barren landscape she could see from their elevation.  
  
"Do you know why I taught you all of those songs, honey?" Juli was tucking her into bed and pulling the sheets down so tightly that they formed a sort of coccoon - a nice, warm little haven - around MOMO's body. She was a woman who stuck to her rituals like an adhesive to paper, and occasionally pulled up a memory of her own childhood in order to make her daughter's early years all the more enjoyable. "Pretty soon no one will remember them. They're beautiful old songs, and I can't stand to see them die like this, so be sure to sing them to your own children when you're-" She stopped and her pretty face fell into a horrified, empty gape, with her mouth creating a perfect black oval against her pale skin. This was the first time she'd realized what having a realian daughter would mean in the future, and an unpleasant feeling settled in her gut when she realized that her daughter would never really grow up, never experience the same things her real daughter would have. There were no more songs or good-night kisses: only brief, strained interactions whenever they met within the house they shared, which created fine cracks in the walls of their being. Juli Mizrahi strained against herself so hard that she broke down and couldn't stand to look the realian in the eye.  
  
In all of her life, MOMO had never felt quite so unsettled. She'd wandered aimlessly throughout the Durandal's bustling corridors in an attempt to wear herself out, wishing all the way that someone familiar would walk by and break the steady hum and buzz of strange voices that rang throughout the ship and her memory. Of course, it was only six in the morning, and she doubted any of her friends would be awake until seven at the least. She stomped down the hallway, hoping that her pounding footsteps would either make enough noise to reach Jr.'s chambers or Ziggy's small room, to give her some company. As she walked she stared out of the window into the soft light of dawn slowly creeping over the side of Second Miltia, bathing her face in soft shades of gold and pink, finding no more comfort in it than she did her synthetic surroundings.  
  
She ran off a list of events on today's schedule and smiled in a lackluster way; an outing with Ziggy once they landed on Second Miltia, more time to spend alone with her friends and to relax... All of it was only a mere hour away. In other words, she would forget about the recent encephalon dive and relax on the beaches that Shion had described as 'endless', once they'd left the icy northern area they'd been forced to land in. She looked forward to taking Ziggy and Jr. to the beach to share her dream, share the overflowing ecstasy she dreamt of as the waves lapped at her bare legs. This time she'd let herself loose.  
  
MOMO smiled to a stranger passing on her left.  
  
Mentally, she checked off their locations as they passed through her central monitor: Shion, tossing and turning in her bed, recovering from a spat with Matthews and Allen over today's trip. Allen had almost refused to tag along and had finally let his feelings for the 'chief' slip, much to both Shion and Matthews' surprise. She slapped him before leaving the room as coolly as if she were KOS-MOS, and MOMO had watched in awe as Allen broke down and cried, hitting the control station so hard with balled fists that Matthews had to restrain him. Ziggy, still awake, staring into the wall adjacent to his maintenance station as if expecting something to pop forth from it, leaving MOMO to wonder what he was thinking about. A troubled chaos, wandering just as she was, stopping every now and then to think and study the sunrise with vague interest. KOS-MOS, her power supply lowered to a steady stream, lying motionless in her metal bed. Jr., sprawled on his bed and snoring, while Mary and Gaignun discussed business matters nearby. She enjoyed watching them, the feeling of control and relief it gave her. They were safe in bed and, for a couple of hours, she could take their burdens away without awkward confrontation.  
  
As MOMO walked, she realized she'd entered a less than populated area of the district and had long since left any wanderers behind. A strange feeling of isolation fell over her like a veil, and she chose to rest on a bench rather than venture further, meaning she'd have to give in to the memories she was trying to escape. As sure as she was it would occur, MOMO jumped when the image of her mother appeared clear as day in front of her, her slight body leaning over the top of their informal kitchen table which papa seemed to adore, if only for the reason that it was so simple and effective.  
  
"I can't do this any more, Joachim," She was chuckling coolly, though her facial expression was that of someone pained. Juli Mizrahi. No, Juli Niwashiro. MOMO wouldn't have expected her to give in the the social conformity of changing her last name if she'd known her the way she did now at that moment, but somehow it gave her a power she could otherwise never have achieved. She was the wife of the madman and mother to a beautiful little girl. She had an influence. She had the surname to give a bit of "oomph" to her claims. Juli Mizrahi would succeed where the supple, naive Niwashiro had failed to do so. MOMO hid in the next room, dressed in a simple yellow sundress with her hands folded neatly in her lap. The first feelings of rejection were even now beginning to develop, spreading through her veins like sickness.  
  
Papa stood a few feet away, eyeing her languidly and smirking at the sarcasm dripping through her voice. "Now, you know you're just over-reacting," he stated simply. "What's wrong with Sakura? She seems so upset lately, have you been putting those ideas of yours in her head again?" From her spot on the couch, MOMO could see that woman's complexion paling and then bursting forth with fresh rage, her delicate little hands balled into fists so hard that her hand had started to bleed from the pressure put on one of her nails. The tethers of her life, so neatly tied back down after Sakura's death by the people who she assumed she'd never escape, had come loose and fluttered around her like so many of her dying hopes. Joachim noticed, raising his eyes to her shyly and questioningly. The fine wall of her emotions cracked and shattered like a piece of old glass.  
  
"She's not 'Sakura'!" Were the first words that came out of mama's mouth. She jumped from her chair, knocking it over and into the wall with a sickening crack. The muscles of her jaw were clenched and she bared her teeth like a dog readying itself to fight. Joachim merely eyed her sadly, wishing he could have avoided another outburst. In the next room, MOMO's body was livid and she kicked her legs as a distraction from the tears pooling in her eyes. "That little girl in there is a REALIAN. You invented them, and you tried to fool me into believing that she was my daughter, our daughter, more than the object that she really is." As an afterthought, she cursed violently at him and tried to calm herself by tapping her fingers on the table's edge. The other residents of the Mizrahi household felt the immediate effects of her words, knocking the air from Joachim's lungs and putting MOMO in so much pain that she cried out in anguish and buried her face in her hands.  
  
"I've never seen your mother more beautiful than when she's mad," Joachim used to tell her as she slept within her liquid bed. He would always smile fervently and try to focus his mind on his work, but it was all too obvious that any sort of focus wasn't helping. "She's a furious lady, I tell you. And when she applies herself, instead of looking so... lost... Well, you know the way she usually looks. When she looks as if she's about to explode, I learn to love her all over again." He walked away from the panel whistling and shoved a hand into the pocket of his pants, once again fading away, without a word about MOMO herself. She remembered this all too clearly, but at the time she didn't realize how brutal her mother's temper was. Things were never the same after that outburst. Everything had happened far too quickly for her to understand.  
  
"But you know you're both my girls. You two... Well, technically three, but there's no use trying to hang onto a life long since lost, huh?.... Well, you mean more to me than anything, even more than this research here. I just wish your mother'd give me the time of day anymore, but she's brooding. Very well." Daddy spoke to her like Sakura. In fact, if Juli hadn't leaked the secret to her that morning in the kitchen, she very well could have continued her life as Sakura, never admitted the truth to herself. Her words lingered under her skin like poison, and every day she came closer to accepting the truth, lethal as it may be. From that day on she was 'MOMO', a name far less poetic than Sakura. It was a name that Juli could inject with all of the anger boiling inside of herself, pronounced so harshly as it rolled from her lips.  
  
She was contemplating the possibility of her father still loving Juli when Gaignun emerged from the adjacent door, his hair perfectly gelled down and eyes squinted to see who was sitting on the bench, surveying MOMO like a hawk stalking its prey. He obviously had some sort of purpose, and something in his demeanor caused MOMO to sit up and lean forward, trying to study the carefully guarded expression on his face as he sauntered forward. He masked it with a smile that seemed sincere enough. MOMO scolded herself for feeling distrustful of Master Gaignun; after all, he'd been nothing but kind since she'd arrived on the Durandal. "Ah, there you are. I have something to give you," his jaw twitched in a mischievous way before he continued. "It's not from me, though. 'He' asked me to give it to you."  
  
She tried her best to look flustered and childish, just to cover her frustrations long enough to endure this encounter, making her mouth into a perfect circle and widening her eyes just the way one might if they were genuinely surprised. Gaignun didn't seem to buy it, and though she didn't realize yet it was Jr.'s long conversations with the Godwin twins that gave her away. Often when he returned to the office he'd seem to be especially happy, or extremely upset - the perfect excuse for Mary or Shelley, quite often both, to ambush him and press for details until he gave in. He'd get lost in description of his day, mostly just to lead Mary and Shelley on until the most critical moment, when he'd stop and walk away to piss them off. He ended up with a good many bruises afterward, but all in all he claimed the looks on their faces to be worth all of the trouble of being humiliated. Lately, he'd started to include MOMO in many of his stories, in a way that suggested he wasn't even aware he was doing it, but speaking so fervently that the Godwin sisters had to tell him to stop after a while.  
  
Despite all of her wondering as to who 'he' might be, MOMO got nowhere. For at that very moment Gaignun ceased to look thoughtful and pulled a small cage from behind his back, covered by a long piece of red silk. The metal bars clung to the fabric, making it seem as if vertical rows of bones were trying to escape from beneath a red barrier; and at the center was a small bump, the only part of the handle that showed through the thin silk cover. A small hole at the top allowed a carrying handle to poke through, and the ends of the silk curled outward with a pretty pattern of diamonds at the base, with a small white border sewn around the bottom. MOMO eyed it warily.  
  
"It was originally a gift from Helmer, but I don't think I'm capable of caring for it," he mentioned casually. "Do with her what you want, but be sure to take care of her. She's the last living specimen, unless you count the realian replicas." With that he handed the cage to her and, certain that she had a firm grip on the handle, he took a step back and nodded for her to take a peek. She hesitated and tugged at the silk cover, which fluttered down and onto her lap while she gave a simultaneous gasp out of both pleasure and shock. MOMO raised her eyes to search out Gaignun's as if to ask if she were actually holding what she saw in the cage, but found that he'd walked away in her reverie. Her eyes met the cold metal wall to find no evidence that anyone had stood there just moments before, not that Master Gaignun emenated any particular human warmth to begin with.  
  
She couldn't frown or even feel lonely that he'd simply left, for in the cage on her lap sat a small bluebird, carefully preening one of the azure-colored feathers of her wing. Its eyes were perfect black spheres that peered at the area beyond the cage carefully, for it was rare for the silk covering to be removed and allow it to see the world outside. They reminded MOMO of little bowls of ink, and she found herself half expecting the liquidy black to drip from the small spheres and down through the bird's pretty blue breast. Its tiny feet gripped a horizontal metal bar hung from the top of the cage. To watch it going about its business brought MOMO a sense of delight, and she gazed at it for another minute before putting the silk cover back over the cage and standing up.  
  
She knew what she wanted to do with the bird: she'd like nothing more than to keep it by her all the time, just so she could ogle at its rare beauty. She wanted to experience the pride of owning something as exclusive as the bird she held in her hand. But in a way, the thought of keeping it in its cage, of watching every day as it gazed longingly past the thin bars of its prison, tore at her heart in a way she'd never felt before.  
  
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Mary and Shelley woke Jr. up not long before the Durandal had stopped in orbit around Second Miltia and released the Elsa from the docking bay. The ship was much too large to land in such an isolated area, and not many people were disembarking, so Captain Matthews agreed to transfer the group to the ground if he were permitted to tag along. After forcefully removing him from his chambers and rushing him down the hall, Shelley and Mary stopped before a window and peered out as the ground seemed to rise to meet them. The landing was relatively smooth, and Captain Matthews announced that he was opening the exit ramp. Before Shelley and Mary had enough time to squeal and start toward the door, MOMO came running like a bat out of hell and disappeared through the exit, the sound of her boots fading as she stepped off the ramp and into the snow.  
  
"What's gotten into her?" Mary sniffed indignantly and walked over to the exit, peering out at the girl who continued to run through the ankle-deep snow with a glorious smile on her face, and a small box-like object in her hands. She leaned against the doorframe and pursed her lips in a way that made her seem much older and serious. "Maybe she likes the snow, but I think it's a horrible thing to have to walk in. And damn cold, at that." She didn't have time to say anything beyond that, because she was once again pushed out of the way and landed on her rear on the entrance ramp, looking up in time to see Jr.'s trench coat waving behind him as he ran.  
  
Shelley laughed and helped her sister to her feet, watching the little master and MOMO running toward the tree line while Mary dusted herself off. "It must be that thing Master Gaignun gave her," she told Mary, who seemed puzzled for a moment. She prided herself on keeping track of what Master Gaignun was doing for most of the day, but she didn't remember this instance in particular until Shelley explained it.  
  
"The bird? The little bluebird that the Representative told him to give to her? I don't understand," and to prove this, she shrugged her shoulders and shook her head just hard enough to lift the base of her ringlets. MOMO had reached the forest and stopped, staring up at the tops of the coniferous trees covered in snow while Jr. tried to catch up. His boots caught on an icy spot under the snow, and as the soles had little tread on them, he slipped and slid through the snow, cursing when he stopped and trying to get to his feet. "Why didn't he just keep it, like he does with all of those other artifacts that Helmer gives him? He could open a museum, and I bet it wouldn't be entirely dull... Well, maybe not, but that's not important."  
  
Shelley smiled to herself and watched as Jr. caught up with MOMO and gave the box in her hands a suspicious look. "An artifact? Come on, sis. It's a living thing, you know, and have you seen how unhappy it looks in that cage?" An unsure smile crept over Mary's face, the corners of her mouth barely lifting as she thought about what her sister was telling her. "Helmer told Master Gaignun that the little bird used to sing such a beautiful song, but that it didn't like the cage. Now watch!" She pulled the blonde girl down the ramp, causing Mary to panic and drag her feet noisily along the steps, stopping at the base, letting the soft snow stir at their feet and settle in their hair. Nothing seemed to be happening, and Mary pouted like a young girl who'd been denied her toy.  
  
At the other side of the field, MOMO was toying with one of the flaps on the top of the box, wearing a smile so large that it seemed to reach her ears. Her cheeks were rosy with the cold and tears were brimming in her eyes, though she didn't seem the least bit unhappy. Jr. watched her as if she were losing her mind, and started when she spun around and looked at him endearingly. He could hear movement from inside the box, but it was faint and could have been anything. He just prayed that it wasn't deadly, or he might have to shoot it and upset MOMO.  
  
"If you start crying, your tears'll freeze. What's up?" She didn't seem to pay any attention, either deliberately or because she was so absorbed in the box that she now cradled like a child. Jr.'s apprehension grew.  
  
"Master Gaignun gave me a gift and told me that I could do anything I wanted with it. So I want you to watch this, okay?" He seemed even more unsettled after hearing this, but nodded and watched the box carefully as she tugged one of the flaps open. A small blue head poked out and he screamed, falling backward into a deep pile of snow and cursing his luck again while tugging awkwardly at one of the guns he carried at his waist. Upon examining the creature more closely, he realized that it was the sickly little bluebird that Gaignun kept in his private chambers, the only place that no one but Jr. could enter unanounced. What the hell was she going to do with such a strange looking... thing?  
  
MOMO beamed and opened the other half of the box, giving the little bird a clear path into the open sky, and it stared up for a while as if unsure of what to do. "Fly away, little birdy!" MOMO chanted, her smile widening and her eyes squinting to look up at the sky. Taking its cue, the bird flapped its tiny wings and took off into the sky, landing on a branch of a nearby hardwood tree that had long since lost its leaves. One of its feathers fell loose of its wing from the force of exertion it had never had to use before, to fly through the clear sky into the tree. MOMO cheered and the bird took flight once again, gaining enough height to coast over most of the treetops and avoiding the others.  
  
At the base of the ship, Mary stood with her mouth agape. Shelley laughed softly and stared at the spot where the bird had once been before turning to Mary and smiling. Soon everyone had left the ship, and couldn't seem to figure out why Mary, Shelley, Jr. and MOMO seemed to be so preoccupied, though it warmed Ziggy's heart to see that MOMO no longer seemed to be feeling so sad.  
  
]---------------------------------------------[  
  
From that point on Jr. regarded MOMO in a new light. He thought that it was very unusual for a realian to care so much about a little bird, but quickly corrected his error and chastised himself for referring to her as a mere realian. Now that he thought of it, it didn't seem so strange for MOMO to take such an interest in an animal, especially one who seemed so unhappy and would have likely died in that little cage had she not set it free. Still, the entire encounter was somehow unnerving, though it seemed to have cleared whatever had been causing MOMO's bad mood as of late. He was still mad about falling in the snow, and grumbled about having snow in the seat of his pants for the remainder of the trip to the inn, which MOMO seemed to find very funny.  
  
The inn they approached wasn't extravagant: in fact, it was little more than a large house made with long timber poles and a red roof. He had to applaud whoever had made the iron bars appear so much like actual timber, and planned to ask how it was that they'd come up with it when they met with the owners. As they opened the doors, Shion gasped and immediately walked in to gaze longingly at the monstrous fireplace set at the center of the room, where tongues of flame leapt from several small pieces of wood at the heart of the fire pit. Ziggy and chaos went to deal with the manager on the matter of their reservations, while the rest of them mingled in the magnificent lounge. Jr. smiled nervously as he surveyed the insides of the room, realizing that the entire inn was crafted using real wood, a rare commodity these days and normally only owned by government officials with enough time on their hands to nurse the young saplings. The entire forest must be real, he mused, remembering how the trees had been covered by several layers of glistening snow that made them seem like jewels.  
  
Settling himself close to the fire, Jr. stared into the orange flames intently and wondered at how much it had cost the inn's owner to import enough wood to create such an amazing building. MOMO sat down at his side and stared into the fire, as well, more to imitate him than to watch the flames herself. Being so close to the fire sent chills down her spine, though the heat physically warmed her. The dual sensation she felt was surprisingly comfortable, and brought many good memories to mind. She remembered mama rushing over to give her a hug on the day she'd "returned from the hospital", which was only a cover-up for the fact that the two had never really met before that moment. She remembered an evening when she and Hammer were forced into doing the dishes, and she'd playfully splashed him with the soapy water, soaking the front of his apron. Captain Matthews had never laughed so hard as when Hammer rushed out of the kitchen in a pink-checkered confection, the front of his clothes seeping with what turned out to be boiling hot water. Lastly, she remembered her first kiss with Jr., sitting in the water of Master Gaignun's private beach. From that day on she decided that she enjoyed sitting by the fireplace, and someday wanted one of her own.  
  
As it turned out, the owners of the inn were close friends of Helmer, and had permitted them to stay the night before setting out again in the morning. One of the maids was a middle-aged woman who MOMO mistook for the Mrs. Claus in one of her story books, and squealed so loudly that the poor woman dropped the armful of sheets she'd been carrying upstairs to prepare for that night. After babbling on for several minutes about how much she loved the story and pretty Christmas lights, the woman - who looked as if she were being mauled by someone much larger than a little girl - cut her off and told her that she'd never heard of this story before, retrieving the sheets and running up the stairs as quickly as she could without tripping over the hem of her dress. MOMO returned to Jr.'s side and gave him a pouty look that clearly showed her disappointment. He didn't have time to speak before someone else piped up.  
  
"Romantic, isn't it?" Shion muttered half-heartedly from a few feet away, trying to focus her eyes on the flames but letting her gaze wander occasionally to where Allen was seated at a table, trying his hardest to ignore her. Unable to get him to turn towards her, she returned her gaze to the fireplace and made an angry face. While she wasn't paying any attention (and making several pouty faces and mouthing cusses into the fire), Allen chanced a glance in her direction and smiled wearily. He found it amusing to see the Chief lose restraint like this, but he wasn't going to give in until she apologized for being so rude to him on the Elsa before they'd arrived. Verbal abuse was already more than he could take, and the slap had seemingly brought the fact that she didn't see him that way home. By the time Shion turned around, he'd turned away and was motioning for Ziggy to come over and join him in a game of cards.  
  
Jr. watched as Allen pulled a deck of cards from his pocket, which Tony and Hammer had earlier snuck into his room and replaced with a package of dirty playing cards only to get him in more trouble with Shion. Sure enough, as he pulled the box from his shirt pocket and turned them over to look at them, he took a sharp breath and threw them onto the table: for on the front sat a pouty woman in nothing but her bra, holding a translucent paper heart over her lower half. Poor Allen's face turned so red that Jr. thought he might explode, and Ziggy reached curiously over the table to see what the problem was. Also curious, MOMO stood and walked over, leaning over Ziggy's shoulder to get a good look at the package.  
  
Shelley and Mary held their breath and watched as Jr.'s face showed his understanding, and then paled. He'd already seen what was on the front of the package when Tony and Hammer had relayed their plan to him the previous night and Ziggy was now raising the package to see the other side. Powerless to do anything but watch, he closed his eyes and was consumed by the long silence the followed, broken only by a weak cough that Hammer gave to clear his throat.  
  
"Ziggy, she doesn't have any clothes on." The room was completely silent and everyone turned to look at MOMO, who stared curiously at the deck of cards and the naked woman on the front as if she weren't embarrassed in the least, and Ziggy, whose face had turned bright red as he slammed the cards down on the table and covered them with his metal hand. Hammer whimpered from where he stood in the corner, and just as Tony signaled to him to run both Jr. and Allen had taken off after them. Hammer dived out the front door with Tony close behind him, and though Allen stopped Jr. had taken out his gun and chased the two through the snow until they reached the woods and peered at him from behind the bushes, ready to beg for their lives. They'd already realized that putting MOMO in an embarrassing situation meant that hell would break loose, but Tony wanted to test their limits and Hammer... Well, Hammer was shaking so badly that Tony was afraid he'd fall apart.  
  
By the time Jr. had returned to the inn he literally buzzed with anger, and returned to see that Shion had recovered the cards from Ziggy, who expected her to throw them into the fire and seemed grateful for the distraction. Instead, she beckoned MOMO to sit beside her and took them out of the package, causing Ziggy to make an odd sound in his throat and cast a puzzled glance in Jr.'s direction. He forced himself to sit down across from MOMO and Shion on the floor, while Shion flipped through the cards slowly and showed each and every one to MOMO, who still seemed to be missing the point entirely. With each card that flipped she made a scornful sound that sounded similar to a wheezy breath. "Can you believe this!?" She said to MOMO, who looked back at her with searching eyes. She didn't quite understand what the cards were, but she could tell by Shion's reaction that they couldn't be good. Besides, it wasn't proper to be seen without one's clothes on, as Shion had told her on one occasion when she'd been forced to wear a complicated dress and had remarked that she'd much rather wear nothing at all.  
  
Finally, Shion threw the cards down into the fire with disgust, and rose to find the metal poker to prod at them until they'd all turned to ashes, making a great show of it and glancing back at Allen with each stab. He tried not to wince, but he could see that she was imagining him with every jab, and wouldn't have been surprised if she'd leapt up and used the tip of the boiling metal poker to make a permanent brand on his behind. The edges of her eyes were so harshly defined that he was starting to believe that another second of her smoldering glare might kill him.  
  
"Shion?" MOMO asked, furrowing her brow as if trying very hard to think. She had to repeat the older woman's name several times before she stopped poking at the burning cards, but Shion gave a grunt of acknowledgement to tell that she was listening and set down the metal stick. MOMO hesitated for a moment or two before opening her mouth. "Why were those women naked?"  
  
Shion gave a loud snort like nothing that Allen had ever heard before and shot him the angriest glare she could muster, a look that literally crackled more intensely than the flames in the nearby fireplace and made him fear that he might catch fire if it continued. The look in her eyes was enough to make him feel ashamed of himself, even though it had been Tony and Hammer's trick. MOMO had just started to repeat her name a fifth time, when Shion stood up and met her large golden eyes with an angry squint. "Because some men LIKE that kind of thing," she hissed through clenched teeth, and stormed away and up the staircase. Poor Allen was nearly at the point of tears; Ziggy looked as if he might be sick. Mary and Shelley watched as, to their amusement, MOMO gave Jr. the funniest look they'd ever seen. Her eyes wide as saucers, her mouth open in shock, her eyebrows arched and her face turning a brilliant shade of pink, she met Jr.'s embarrassed gaze with an accusing and equally embarrassed look. This continued for quite some time, when she suddenly seemed to calm down and looked almost contemplative.  
  
"Shion's lying!" Allen yelled, desperate to break the heavy silence, but it seemed that he didn't quite believe it himself. "Tony, you dirty little-" He took off out the door to deal with Tony himself, and Ziggy couldn't help but give a nervous chuckle. That is, until MOMO grinned and piped up again, which caused any activity in the room to stop dead in its tracks and everyone's mouths to drop in shock.  
  
"Were those women real? 'Cause I don't look like that when I'm-" Shelley had fallen off of her chair in a fit of laughter before the girl could even finish her sentence. Jr. launched himself across the floor and covered her mouth with his hand, so flustered that he could only manage to stutter a quick "No!" before he realized what he was doing and let his hand dangle back to his side. Soon after, he stood and walked up the stairs as Shion had done moments before, turning to go to his own room, leaving an embarrassed group of people in his wake. MOMO seemed puzzled at first, turning to Ziggy as if seeking an answer from him, but all she could see was the strange paleness of his face, which made him appear to be much older and, in a way, very weary.  
  
]---------------------------------------------[  
  
Ziggy wanted to explain what was happening to MOMO, but every time he tried an awkward feeling stopped him from doing so. Shelley and Mary volunteered, but Shelley burst into another fit of giggles so bad that she had to excuse herself and trekked off to her room. And of course, Mary wouldn't try to explain it on her own - certainly not to MOMO, who might not take things the right way - and none of the others would even come near. Frustrated, MOMO excused herself and dragged her feet up the long, wide set of stairs leading to the second floor, laid out with a soft red and white carpet down the middle. The stairs ended up in a long, open hallway that stretched three or four large rooms in each direction, with a red door leading into each room. She could hear the sound of glass breaking from the inside of what she presumed to be Shion's room, and decided that she wouldn't be sharing the room with her tonight. She'd go into the basement with KOS-MOS and settle herself beside the android's metallic bed, if need be. Disturbing Shion right now would just be asking to be hit with something hard and just small enough for Shion to pick up and throw.  
  
She noticed that Allen was sitting outside of Shion's door, biting his lip and wincing every time he heard another crash within the room, obviously knowing that each of those blows was intended to hit him. He seemed to be working up his courage, and after a few minutes he stood and knocked on the door. Activity within the room stopped, and MOMO could hear pounding footsteps from within. Shion threw open the door and glowered at Allen, whose face remained completely blank as he stared at her, at a loss for words. Anyone could have seen why.  
  
MOMO recalled the words of her father and repeated them to herself: "I've never seen your mother more beautiful than when she's mad." She noticed that, even though Shion had been crying and her face was contorted with both anger and frustration, her hair in a disarray around her shoulders and her eyes red and puffy, she looked very beautiful. Allen's face never moved: he seemed almost mystified by this side of Shion he had never seen before. Under his gaze she grew docile, the anger draining away from her pretty face. She started to cry again and hugged Allen so hard that he looked as if he couldn't breath. Slowly, as Shion's sobs echoed down the hallway, Allen started to smile again and patted her back.  
  
"I'm sorry, Shion." It was as simple as that, and no more words were spoken. MOMO had never seen either of them act so strangely before, and when Allen grabbed Shion's hand and led her back downstairs to get her something to eat she felt even more puzzled. In a way, it seemed as if they'd just made up, though she didn't quite understand what all the commotion was about, and how everything had happened so quickly. She'd become so used to long, complicated confrontations that it had become a normal thing for her. A fight, even a petty one, involved angry words and even physical pain, but Allen had never acted up. MOMO gained a new respect for him that night after witnessing the events in the hallway.  
  
Now that the activity in Shion's room had stopped, she could hear noises from the other's rooms. Shelley was still laughing in her room at the end of the eastern hall, and sounded as if her voice were growing hoarse. Mary was trying to stop her, moaning and telling Shelley that if she didn't soon stop she wouldn't be able to catch her breath and would probably drop dead on the carpet right in front of her sister. Captain Matthews was snoring loudly in his own room, and she heard Tony and Hammer talking in hushed tones from the same room, having narrowly escaped a bloodthirsty Allen moments before. Hammer's voice had a high-pitched whine to it that made it sound as if he were going to faint, and Tony seemed to have thoroughly enjoyed his little joke. From the furthest door on the western side, however, she heard Jr. pacing worriedly up and down the length of his room. She walked down the hallway and didn't hesitate to open the door, though having done it her body seemed to be overcome by a sudden heaviness.  
  
"Go away," Jr. muttered, without even looking up to see who had come in. MOMO cocked her head to one side and studied him curiously, mostly because he, just as Shion and Allen had just moments before, was acting in a way she'd never seen before. His trench coat and shirt had been thrown haphazardly onto the bed, wrinkled and stretched in his efforts to remove them quickly, and he now stood staring out the window with his back to her. She'd never seen him without his shirt on, and winced as she studied several puckered scars running along his shoulder blades and back, still visible despite having healed over a good deal from the original wounds. This removed much of the shock of seeing him standing in a way that might have hinted at vulnerability to anyone else, but to MOMO it merely accentuated the fact that she'd done something to make him so angry. Still, she carefully pressed the door closed and walked up behind him hesitantly, and when he caught a glimpse of her reflected in the dark window his face turned even more red than it had been downstairs. He tried to hide it by continuing to ignore her, but he couldn't see anything through the darkness anyways, aside from her solemn face reflected by the glass whenever he let his eyes wander.  
  
"I did something wrong," she mumbled matter-of-factly, running her eyes along the length of one of the scars on his shoulder and starting to feel sick with worry, both because he'd never told her about these scars and because she was afraid that she wasn't going to like the answer. At length, she had to avert her gaze to the peeling wallpaper on the wall to keep the nauseous feeling from deepening. It seemed like forever before he turned to face her with a strange look in his eyes, a glimmer of laughter soon drowned out by unease. She was immediately reminded of the little bluebird, sitting in its cage with its black eyes like pools of despair, that begged her to release it into its true habitat, and wondered if he felt trapped. She felt such an overwhelming sense of loss that she stumbled backwards several steps, with a certainty borne of experience that told her she would be scolded for wasting his time. He had the same gleam in his eyes as if he wished for nothing more than to harm her. Instead, he did nothing, which turned out to be far more painful than the little realian girl could bear.  
  
The silence that ensued was overwhelming. MOMO studied several more scars that marred his chest and stomach, unable to look away; he noticed, making no effort to cover himself up, for the scars were a part of him as much as the air he was breathing. Admittedly he would never let anyone else see the reminder that he'd been brutally injured, and letting even MOMO see the scars made his head spin unpleasantly, though she'd probably never realize it. She could only imagine how he'd gotten them, and those thoughts were very disturbing to her: Especially so once she'd remembered the type of combat she'd seen in the Encephalon's recreation of Miltia. Were these battle scars from the Miltian Conflict? Had he been sliced at and made to bleed by the rabid enemies he was fighting? Inadvertently, she saw a flash of anger and pure hatred in one of the enemies' eyes, standing amongst the fighting URTV as if invisible to the others, and let out a little squeak, which caught Jr.'s attention, even as she lowered her eyes and winced as he took several hurried steps toward her.  
  
"What...? What's wrong?" He backed up, looking around at the room behind him and returned his eyes to hers to see that she now looked profoundly upset, raising her face almost timidly. She tried to avoid his gaze for a while, when she thought of how Shion and Allen had embraced in the hallway and tried very hard to create a sober, mild expression and keep it, all the while forcing him to stare directly into her eyes in hopes that it would have the same calming effect. Hopefully he'd stop raging and give her hug, and she'd hug him back, and then take him downstairs to get him something to eat, because he hadn't eaten all night. This seemed fine, until she realized that he wasn't raging in the way that Shion had been, and that she wasn't Allen. Besides, how could food resolve anything? Just as she let her face fall back into its rueful expression, he moved a bit and then returned to a standing position, appearing agitated. MOMO had a feeling that this situation would only become more complicated.  
  
Jr. was beginning to think she was trying to do nothing more than annoy him, even though he didn't want to admit it. Something kept her from responding to him, and this both worried and annoyed him.  
  
"Well? What's wrong!?" He repeated, with a hint of a growl in his tone that made her eyes water. Maybe she should just leave, she thought, and go back downstairs with Ziggy? Her resolve disappeared when he repeated the question in an even angrier tone: she whimpered like an injured puppy and shuddered, taking a small step back. Thoughts of her angry mother, one instance in the kitchen, raising her hand to slap her daughter for bringing up the topic of not being her actual daughter clouded her mind, and she could easily picture it happening again, brought on by nothing more than an angry tone of voice. The stinging, burning sensation she hated so much could be inflicted by anyone she displeased, and normally she was careful about not setting anyone off: however, even though she felt that she trusted Jr., when she heard his frantic footsteps against the carpet she raised her eyes boldly and took a few steps forward, and before she knew what she was doing she'd thrown herself against him and wrapped her arms around him so tightly that it was hard for either to breath.  
  
"Don't be mad!" she gasped, burying her face into the space between his shoulder and neck so that her next words were obscured. "I think I said something wrong, I'm sorry. And then I came up here and didn't do a very good job of setting things straight." He was scarcely listening, for he was so embarrassed at their current situation. "I just wanted to know why you seemed so upset! I don't like seeing you upset!" Her voice had risen and shook horribly. For an awful moment she thought he might simply pull away from her and ask her to leave, but to her relief he returned the hug with a chuckle.  
  
After a moment of silence, MOMO realized how they were standing and her body went rigid with shock. He returned her hug so tightly that her breath caught in her throat, partly from their proximity and also from the fact that she was trying desperately trying to grasp what was happening. One of his arms was wrapped around her neck, and the other at the small of her back, so that she scarcely had room to breath. Both of her arms wrapped around his back, and she pressed her entire body against him. When she dared to stir, his grip intensified, and he moved his head to one side so that she could feel his breath on her neck, which did anything but calm her down. A barrage of alien emotions played through her body, completely overwhelming her. Most of all, she felt a strange sense of security, alongside content. After standing there in just this way for quite some time, MOMO's eyelids fluttered and she leaned into Jr.'s chest, letting the unsettling feelings drift away one by one.  
  
"I guess I was just being protective," he mumbled into the side of her neck before letting go and taking a step back. He studied her for a long time, the corners of his mouth twitching as if unsure of whether to smile or frown. Glad for any distractions, MOMO reached out her fingers and lightly brushed one of the scars on his chest with her fingertips: he tensed at the foolish, impulsive gesture and grinned sheepishly. It seemed like such a trivial thing, to be upset over someone else's battle scars, but with MOMO he didn't really have to question it. She found meaning in a lot of things, especially since she and Ziggy were the only ones aside from his fellow URTV's who had witnessed the combat.  
  
"So the scars upset you?" He asked, covering her hand with his own to stop her and looking at her probingly. "I could put my shirt back on, y'know. And then you wouldn't have to look at them." To prove this, he walked toward the bed and reached for his shirt and trench coat, but she merely frowned and let her eyes wander around the room a bit, nervously. Another feeling had settled in her stomach, a deep, sentimental fondness that she couldn't seem to ignore. Whenever she looked at Jr., standing by the edge of the bed trying to make up his mind, she felt like smiling. The entire thing was absurd.  
  
"It was that, too... It must have been painful. But..." She pursed her lips and studied him for a moment, standing near the bed with deep navy sheets (he'd gone through several of the rooms trying to find one that wasn't entirely pink and filled with lace and frills) with his shirt hanging loosely from one of his hands, and how surprised he looked. "I was just caught up in my thoughts. It was nothing, really."   
  
She sniffed and Jr. sat down on the bed, patting the space beside him. When she'd sat down he stared at her for a while, contemplating what to say. Finally, he chuckled and turned away, studying the window. "Don't worry about those pictures. I'll tell you about them later, but right now they don't matter." She frowned at him, not daring to question, for he seemed extremely embarrassed to bring up the subject already. Her mind flipped back to a day several weeks before, when she had been helping Shion clean up the Elsa, and had been told to tidy Tony's room... Only to make the discovery of magazines very similar to the playing cards. She didn't want to think of them right now, desperate to change the subject to something more comfortable.  
  
"MOMO?" They turned to stare at eachother. Jr. looked apprehensive and a bit unsure of himself, or maybe it was MOMO's imagination. "Explain to me why you let the bird go today."  
  
She couldn't answer immediately. For a minute or two she stared at Jr. incredulously, as if he'd just asked the world's most pointless question and she was trying to answer it without sounding exasperated. Several times she opened her mouth as if to speak, but decided against it. Had it been nothing more than an impulsive decision, a spur of the moment fling? Her body language suggested it; her eyes did not. Something had driven her to go to the trouble of setting the bluebird free, and it might prove to be interesting to hear.  
  
"...Did you ever see it?" She stammered, very slowly and in a voice so soft that she had to repeat it at his request. He nodded. "It looked so lonely. It was trapped in a little prison and had nothing more to do than sit and stare at the side of the silk sheet Gaignun used to cover the cage." She smiled and seemed to be remembering the exact moment when she'd opened the cage that morning, and how sickly the little bird was despite the fact that she'd first thought of it as beautiful. "I thought it might find a mate and others like itself if it could get out of its cage." So that was it, Jr. thought, chuckling to himself as he imagined MOMO fawning over the sickly little bird. He didn't dare tell her that it probably wouldn't last the winter, or that it was the last of its kind, or even that it would never be fortunate enough to find a mate, for she seemed so enthralled by the thing that it would be a shame to upset her. She'd never know if it didn't survive, nor did she need to know.  
  
"You look like you figured something out," Jr. muttered uneasily, upon turning to face her and finding that she'd once again become thoughtful. He felt a shock when she turned to look at him, her eyes focused and yet holding the sheen of a scared child. She was going to say something, he could tell, but it took her a while to decide whether or not she really wanted to say it. Allen and Shion had returned, Shion laughing at something Allen had said downstairs, and seconds later the door to Shion's room had opened and closed. The laughter continued long after they'd gone into the room, and MOMO could tell that Allen had gone in with Shion. It made her feel uncomfortable at the prospect of having to go to bed with the both of them in the room together, which forced her into thought.  
  
"I'm tired," she mumbled after a short yawn, giving Jr. a long, studious look. What she was going to say was that she'd be in KOS-MOS' room if he needed her: she'd have to sleep without her teddy bear and on the cold floor of the basement, but it would probably mean less of a hassle in the long run. Instead, Jr. tugged at MOMO's skirt until she looked at him, and then grabbed her arm and pulled until she moved toward the front of the bed. He ignored her startled expression and told her to go to sleep, before curling up at the bottom of the bed. It took her a while, but she sniffed and inched toward him a bit, clearly boggled by this action.  
  
"Jr..." She tapped him lightly on the shoulder and hoped that he'd turn around, if only to explain. He swatted at her hand, and she soon began to feel that it was some sort of game, giggling every time he tried to stop her from poking him. At length he told her to go to sleep again, ignoring her until she decided she should just go to sleep anyways, and curled up beside him.  
  
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